The quote-of-the-day tradition was abandoned for 2011, and came back in 2012 in modified form. I'm not quite so diligent about getting a quote every day as I once was, but occasionally I have some pretty good runs. I'm also not including names anymore, as there have been some privacy concerns over the years. I happen to think the quotes are much funnier when you know who said them, so if you'd like to claim credit for one, let me know and I'll add it in. :-) Here are the quotes I collected this year:
January:
"I'm going to demand that we watch it together."
"I'm not an old lady! I heard that!"
"She wears a buckskin dress."
'The beast dog didn't prevent you from doing so this time, eh?"
"That's our Elisa method."
"Your face changed. It started to look like mine."
"Don't touch me there, man."
"I'm sorry I ruined your wedding."
"My dream self was out of control this week."
"Can we get tattoos that say, 'Rest?'"
"Me and socks, we're a hot mess."
"What happened to your hair?"
"Everyone's running around, telling me I'm a fire hazard."
"Laugh too hard you cry. That's why I don't laugh, go 'hoo!'"
"I don't know where to buy powdered coyote pee."
"I'm glad, cause the Indiana guy seemed mad."
"Don't you know not to touch a black lady's hair?"
"What if the leaves from the tree of life tasted like meat?"
"I really wanted to write you guys a note."
"...because you're more Christian..."
"You're welcome!"
Would you want a naked woman on your coffee table? You would not!"
"Have you ever thought you would make a good Baptist?"
"That'll be a good way to celebrate."
"Sorry for hitting you in my eye."
"Is there an art emergency? What's going on?"
"Krista, can you say, 'Put a candle on it.?'"
February:
"Roller coaster, get out of my way!"
"That's where your personality comes from."
"You don't have to make a pouty face about it. Do it again."
"I like WARM better than HOT. Are you surprised? Are you shocked??"
"Where were you when Kennedy was shot?"
"I was sticking with what you told me which was the end of February...2023."
"Put a candle on the birthday cake."
"I'll take all your caffeine."
"Kinda shy."
"I loved my night terrors when I was a little kid."
"Ready for any write-in quotes. I can cast my quote from abroad."
"Elisha needs a sticker thing.:
"They're laughing. It bothers me."
"I thought I was getting a rice cooker for Valentines Day, but turns out I also got myself a new car battery! Who says romance is dead?"
"I guess I'll call Ghost Busters."
"I freaking love pho!"
"Let's take away the joy marks."
"How imperfect do they come??"
"On that note, I got an email from the Queen of Nigeria..."
"That's Krista's mascot!"
"These include titles like 'Sweeping the Floor for the Glory of the Lord' and "Poo Poo in the Pantalones."
"No! Don't eat my ear! If you're hungry, open the freezer, get ice cream!"
"If it was at all possible, I'd bring a house."
"I have a little poppy seed..."
"I have a knack for it..."
March:
"She's falling out of her chair! It's ok, it hasn't been an hour yet."
"My idea of social hour is open gym."
"How much do they suck?"
"I collect birthdays."
"Anyone know who's up next week for eating?"
"There's a lot of mountains here, aren't there?"
"I was calling her bluff."
"We want to love each other from different houses."
"You can shine it anywhere you want..."
"I strongly advise you stick with Tabitha!"
"There you have it, the digestive system is actually controlled by the heart by way of a tiny elevator!"
"Kenji, Kenji, stop dying!"
"Stop doing your work."
"She was itching..."
"That's the catch. It isn't free."
"Bad hair, good night."
"Can you imagine a book titled, 'Your Worst Life Soon?'"
"How do you spell unjudgmental?"
"It's just your knees are kinda dominating everything."
"I don't do that anymore."
"Right-O!"
"Do I look fat?"
April:
"Super fun!"
"I think of you every time I see a body part."
"Tell her I say thanks a lot."
"If Sandie's anal, what are you?"
"That's how they do weddings. That's how they do everything."
"Oh, I see you're wearing clothes."
"She's totally a Gordon."
"Is a soul a body part?"
"Well, I just can't stand that guy - Carter!"
"I think you should just wave a Solavei phone over your throat and miracles will happen!"
"A tv? No, I'd shoot myself."
"..and he broke the magic mop!"
"It went straight to my soul!"
"I took my JACKET off!"
May:
Sadly, no quotes recorded
June:
"When will Garrett be ready for you?"
"That was a joke. I don't have a vomit category."
"You look so much older!"
"You shouldn't speak to me for at least a week."
"Ursula LOVES Ariel...yes she does!!"
"Valley Christian High School is redoing our sanctuary. We didn't even ask them to!"
"It's the end caps that'll get you..."
"Wouldn't that be your LEAST memorable amusement park ride?"
"I will see a chair in Pennsylvania."
"You're causing turmoil in my life, Krista."
"When will I have margaritas with Dad?"
"I do think huts, though."
"He said he would poop today for my birthday."
July:
"My new number is...Call me...unless you are a serial killer, then send me a text."
"I TRIED to ask her nicely!"
"She's watching a movie, Jen."
August:
"Krista likes me!"
"This building makes some really weird noises."
"So you're going to be...30?"
"I thought you said pick you up at Carmen!"
"That's what that city's all about...besides violence and gangs."
September:
"How's my Jan Brewer shirt looks...do you get me only Jan? What's Jan Brewer is? I need to sing about her...can I call her?"
"You KNEW it was awkward."
"Krista, let's put some coffee in you."
"I was jonesing to buy wipes."
October:
"Emily carries a frog baby!"
"This isn't where a 60-year-old comes to read the paper!"
November:
"Yes, I know you are just around the corner, but I'm feeling lazy and not very social. Actually, I'm really upset that 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer' is being aired tomorrow, two days before Thanksgiving. It's wrong!"
"Don't forget the coffee shops you keep in business."
"You have a cousin on your foot."
"I wonder to myself, 'Did I scream?"
December
"I said I didn't know, mostly to avoid a really long conversation."
"It's in our genes to take a shower every day."
"He sings you know! Ask him to sign a few bars of Maria from West Side Story!"
"That's urban chic!"
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
2012 Overview
The quote-of-the-day tradition was abandoned for 2011, and came back in 2012 in modified form. I'm not quite so diligent about getting a quote every day as I once was, but occasionally I have some pretty good runs. I'm also not including names anymore, as there have been some privacy concerns over the years. I happen to think the quotes are much funnier when you know who said them, so if you'd like to claim credit for one, let me know and I'll add it in. :-) Here are the quotes I collected this year:
January:
"That's chapstick. We don't put that on your butt."
"You both saved my sanity, for now."
"They did say at Petsmart that you cannot order gerbils online."
"I don't glow, though. I have, like, a rash..."
"In my fictitious wedding I might be a bridezilla."
"I don't eat anything with tentacles."
"What am I doing with the meat? Putting it in a pot is called what?"
"Cassidy is one of the 16 who's causing problems."
"I spoke passionately and smiled a lot and tried not to show my tongue ring."
"It's like pink central in here right now."
"Tents, like you said..."
"Great question. According to Wikipedia, James Thurston "Jim" Nabors (born June 12th, 1930) is an American actor and singer..."
"Tomorrow's February, so today I took down my Christmas tree."
February:
"I won't have sex with you til you sell that truck!"
"Better now than when I'm calling you to repentance."
"You can't just give a little crack baby back to the pound."
"Krista, where is your whistle? Your whistle is..."
"I want to go to Krista's apartment! Krista's apartment is too far..."
"I wish she'd just pee on it."
"You're my best friend today."
"Turtles. Krista had turtles."
"Jake, just scope Matt!"
"Baby, baby, baby."
"Congratulations on making 8/9 of a baby...actually..."
March:
"We both have hair!"
"What state are you from?"
"You simultaneously accomplished two feats I've always wanted to do: catch a duck and fly."
"I am so weirded out right now."
"I hope I go, even just to witness it."
"I curse you with no knees!"
"I still have my white card."
April:
"WHERE is KRISTA?"
"PS: I got so sunburned on just my right arm."
"Man, I wish I had their digestive system."
"You make a baby and everyone loves it!"
"Bobby Plummer???"
May:
sadly, no quotes recorded...
June:
sadly, no quotes recorded...
July:
"We must be the same race or something."
"Why did it take me leaving the state for a good storm to finally come?"
"Dre, you live here, and people are ok with it!"
"...except maybe this really cute boy who I met once who totally ignored me and liked my friend, and I feel like if I go he is gonna be creeped out and think I'm stalking him."
"Talking about shoe sizes?"
"I like Roman names."
"You're beautiful for your age."
"I'm sexy and I know it."
"That's two of the least Asian people I know shopping at the most Asian place in Arizona."
"Since you guys brought up Luke..."
"They're in a band...I dont' know what they're doing now."
"You're my sweet strawberry Minnesota friend."
"What's that smell? Peaches?"
"Wear a dress! I'm tired of you looking like that!"
"I like music. I like whirling your hair around, too."
"Our family song would be bluegrass."
"But I have a lion head, and he doesn't."
"I don't know either - I heard that all those health care problems were solved."
"I was reading about Samson, and he could really use Proverbs, especially chapter 5."
August:
"I woulda done gone home by now."
"I'm a teaser!"
"Are you kidding me?"
"Triple WHAT?"
"I don't always turn water into wine...but when I do, it's delicious."
"Half of the book of Genesis is like the Jerry Springer show."
"Really, the only proper way to eat pizza is with your hands."
"You guys wanna play some Michigan?"
"But it's been 13 years since I was there. Can you believe that? I'm so old."
"I like living in the past, too, Josh."
"I'll buy my soft drink."
"Joe is a pretty agreeable guy. I don't think I've ever seen Joe disagree with anything, except eating gluten."
"Nothing says 'I haven't seen you in awhile' like a haboob." - Danielle Juengel
"Krista, nothing says waking up at 3am like a skunk." - Danielle Juengel
"I'm picking Shawna up, by her heels if need be this time, so she can't poop out."
September:
sadly, no quotes recorded
October:
sadly, no quotes recorded
November:
"Kenji, you have to stop liking bugs so much, or you'll die by killer bee when you're only 18."
"When I was 21, I thought I was ready to get married. That would have been terrible for any girl."
December:
"The Lord needs to work on my brain, you hear me? It's about gone cuckoo on me. I need a new brain. Yep, I've had this brain too long, I need a new one."
"Should I call your cell phone while you are handing over the award?"
"Someone needs to check on this lady, she's having problems."
"I just tell my group leader it makes it fresh. I used that in high school, too."
"Emily and I went through a couple probably inappropriate weeks where we just named and claimed everything."
"You have to know your audience."
"I'm in the lobby with jam."
"I'm waiting for Arielle to get fun."
"Sell it all on Ebay and we'll get that building we've been wanting..."
January:
"That's chapstick. We don't put that on your butt."
"You both saved my sanity, for now."
"They did say at Petsmart that you cannot order gerbils online."
"I don't glow, though. I have, like, a rash..."
"In my fictitious wedding I might be a bridezilla."
"I don't eat anything with tentacles."
"What am I doing with the meat? Putting it in a pot is called what?"
"Cassidy is one of the 16 who's causing problems."
"I spoke passionately and smiled a lot and tried not to show my tongue ring."
"It's like pink central in here right now."
"Tents, like you said..."
"Great question. According to Wikipedia, James Thurston "Jim" Nabors (born June 12th, 1930) is an American actor and singer..."
"Tomorrow's February, so today I took down my Christmas tree."
February:
"I won't have sex with you til you sell that truck!"
"Better now than when I'm calling you to repentance."
"You can't just give a little crack baby back to the pound."
"Krista, where is your whistle? Your whistle is..."
"I want to go to Krista's apartment! Krista's apartment is too far..."
"I wish she'd just pee on it."
"You're my best friend today."
"Turtles. Krista had turtles."
"Jake, just scope Matt!"
"Baby, baby, baby."
"Congratulations on making 8/9 of a baby...actually..."
March:
"We both have hair!"
"What state are you from?"
"You simultaneously accomplished two feats I've always wanted to do: catch a duck and fly."
"I am so weirded out right now."
"I hope I go, even just to witness it."
"I curse you with no knees!"
"I still have my white card."
April:
"WHERE is KRISTA?"
"PS: I got so sunburned on just my right arm."
"Man, I wish I had their digestive system."
"You make a baby and everyone loves it!"
"Bobby Plummer???"
May:
sadly, no quotes recorded...
June:
sadly, no quotes recorded...
July:
"We must be the same race or something."
"Why did it take me leaving the state for a good storm to finally come?"
"Dre, you live here, and people are ok with it!"
"...except maybe this really cute boy who I met once who totally ignored me and liked my friend, and I feel like if I go he is gonna be creeped out and think I'm stalking him."
"Talking about shoe sizes?"
"I like Roman names."
"You're beautiful for your age."
"I'm sexy and I know it."
"That's two of the least Asian people I know shopping at the most Asian place in Arizona."
"Since you guys brought up Luke..."
"They're in a band...I dont' know what they're doing now."
"You're my sweet strawberry Minnesota friend."
"What's that smell? Peaches?"
"Wear a dress! I'm tired of you looking like that!"
"I like music. I like whirling your hair around, too."
"Our family song would be bluegrass."
"But I have a lion head, and he doesn't."
"I don't know either - I heard that all those health care problems were solved."
"I was reading about Samson, and he could really use Proverbs, especially chapter 5."
August:
"I woulda done gone home by now."
"I'm a teaser!"
"Are you kidding me?"
"Triple WHAT?"
"I don't always turn water into wine...but when I do, it's delicious."
"Half of the book of Genesis is like the Jerry Springer show."
"Really, the only proper way to eat pizza is with your hands."
"You guys wanna play some Michigan?"
"But it's been 13 years since I was there. Can you believe that? I'm so old."
"I like living in the past, too, Josh."
"I'll buy my soft drink."
"Joe is a pretty agreeable guy. I don't think I've ever seen Joe disagree with anything, except eating gluten."
"Nothing says 'I haven't seen you in awhile' like a haboob." - Danielle Juengel
"Krista, nothing says waking up at 3am like a skunk." - Danielle Juengel
"I'm picking Shawna up, by her heels if need be this time, so she can't poop out."
September:
sadly, no quotes recorded
October:
sadly, no quotes recorded
November:
"Kenji, you have to stop liking bugs so much, or you'll die by killer bee when you're only 18."
"When I was 21, I thought I was ready to get married. That would have been terrible for any girl."
December:
"The Lord needs to work on my brain, you hear me? It's about gone cuckoo on me. I need a new brain. Yep, I've had this brain too long, I need a new one."
"Should I call your cell phone while you are handing over the award?"
"Someone needs to check on this lady, she's having problems."
"I just tell my group leader it makes it fresh. I used that in high school, too."
"Emily and I went through a couple probably inappropriate weeks where we just named and claimed everything."
"You have to know your audience."
"I'm in the lobby with jam."
"I'm waiting for Arielle to get fun."
"Sell it all on Ebay and we'll get that building we've been wanting..."
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Sunday, August 1st - Saturday, August 7th, 2010
"We've prayed in many rooms, but never the visitor's locker room." - Kendra Evans
"If we take it out at any other time, it will blow up." - Hillsong
"That's usually how I start it. I had a dream that my brother was ice cream." - Cassidy Thompson
"And as a bonus, call within the next 20 minutes and we'll send you 'Power Ballads of the 80's' absolutely free, just pay shipping and handling. Act Now!" - Ethan Rode
"Elianna is all about efficiency: she's sitting on the toilet right now reviewing her flash cards." -Jacob/Kiki Hantla
"Arty is Party without the P." - Megan Jeffery
"For as often as we talk about how dumb Kris...I mean, Mochi is..." - Karin Hetsler
"If we take it out at any other time, it will blow up." - Hillsong
"That's usually how I start it. I had a dream that my brother was ice cream." - Cassidy Thompson
"And as a bonus, call within the next 20 minutes and we'll send you 'Power Ballads of the 80's' absolutely free, just pay shipping and handling. Act Now!" - Ethan Rode
"Elianna is all about efficiency: she's sitting on the toilet right now reviewing her flash cards." -Jacob/Kiki Hantla
"Arty is Party without the P." - Megan Jeffery
"For as often as we talk about how dumb Kris...I mean, Mochi is..." - Karin Hetsler
Sunday, July 25th- Saturday, July 31st, 2010
I'm currently missing January to July quotes from 2010 - probably in a box somewhere, which is unfortunate. But I decided to at least post a few quotes tonight while my laundry finishes, since it's literally been almost a year...
"We're gonna tell the kids to shit..." - Max Pietropaulo
"If I'm not having a baby..." - Cameron Dodd
"Milk-white. That's how I described you in what I wrote about you once. I can't describe Krista as milk-white anymore." - Bernadette Peralta
"Puddle, Toni, puddle! And we'll blame it on Mochi." - Karin Hetsler
"Where did you get Krista?" - Anna
"I love it when Krista says hello to herself." - Grace
"It IS fog! I saw it, we're in a cloud!" - Katie Stall
"We're gonna tell the kids to shit..." - Max Pietropaulo
"If I'm not having a baby..." - Cameron Dodd
"Milk-white. That's how I described you in what I wrote about you once. I can't describe Krista as milk-white anymore." - Bernadette Peralta
"Puddle, Toni, puddle! And we'll blame it on Mochi." - Karin Hetsler
"Where did you get Krista?" - Anna
"I love it when Krista says hello to herself." - Grace
"It IS fog! I saw it, we're in a cloud!" - Katie Stall
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Sunday, December 27th, 2009 - Saturday, January 2nd, 2010
"If I jump on you, will that help the situation?" - Emily Johnson
"I always hate always statements." - Christine Waldersen
"This model has a man face but big boobs. That's why she's here." - Emily Johnson
"Happy Birthday, Krista!" - Casey
"She's Asian. You have to know her." - Garrett Shimata
"Ricola..." - Zach Makawi
"I'm not a girl. He doesn't know that yet." - Emily Johnson
"I always hate always statements." - Christine Waldersen
"This model has a man face but big boobs. That's why she's here." - Emily Johnson
"Happy Birthday, Krista!" - Casey
"She's Asian. You have to know her." - Garrett Shimata
"Ricola..." - Zach Makawi
"I'm not a girl. He doesn't know that yet." - Emily Johnson
Sunday, December 20th - Saturday, December 26th, 2009
"I don't wanna be responsible for killing you. That wouldn't be shepherding your heart." - Garrett Shimata
"I can put them in shirts and make them pop out." - Emily Johnson
"I think I speak for Matt and I when I say we hope Jesus comes back before we actually hve to teach about Jesus coming back." - John McCoy
"He was like, if I can't get a lady, I will not eat. And then he died." - Kendra Evans
"Should I beat my wife?" - Brian Wortley
"If I was gonna buy a girl a bottle of Vodka..." - Garrett Shimata
"She's backed into an Asian corner." - Emily Johnson
"I can put them in shirts and make them pop out." - Emily Johnson
"I think I speak for Matt and I when I say we hope Jesus comes back before we actually hve to teach about Jesus coming back." - John McCoy
"He was like, if I can't get a lady, I will not eat. And then he died." - Kendra Evans
"Should I beat my wife?" - Brian Wortley
"If I was gonna buy a girl a bottle of Vodka..." - Garrett Shimata
"She's backed into an Asian corner." - Emily Johnson
Sunday, December 13th - Saturday, December 19th, 2009
"Do you separate heads from bodies very often? That's usually not a good thing to do." - Scott Maxwell
"One's about spiritual maturity and growth. The other's about cuteness." - Garrett Shimata
"I don't mind being around naked people. I just don't want to gaze at them." - Kelsey Jones
"But I'll be in and out. Just enough time for the bosom." - Kendra Evans
"My hands are too big for my face." - Amanda Wolfard
"I don't think brownies are AS good as God is good, but still pretty good." - Emily Johnson
"When we first kissed, he was a Canadian and I was Sarah Palin." - Amanda Keim
"One's about spiritual maturity and growth. The other's about cuteness." - Garrett Shimata
"I don't mind being around naked people. I just don't want to gaze at them." - Kelsey Jones
"But I'll be in and out. Just enough time for the bosom." - Kendra Evans
"My hands are too big for my face." - Amanda Wolfard
"I don't think brownies are AS good as God is good, but still pretty good." - Emily Johnson
"When we first kissed, he was a Canadian and I was Sarah Palin." - Amanda Keim
Sunday, December 6th - Saturday, December 12th, 2009
"I can't judge John MacArthur, cause that would send me straight to hell." - Melina Hunt
"I don't have to think about how to love a wife right now." - Emily Johnson
"Praying for you, that your day be filled with less bodily fluids and more joy and peace." - Garrett Shimata
"Witty-titty." - Leslie
"I care more about my apple than my mouth." - Karin Hetsler
"Speaking of Christmas, my dad's having hip replacement surgery." - Danielle Juengel
"He wants to give you a double portion, because he loves you more than his other wives." - Cassidy Thompson
"I don't have to think about how to love a wife right now." - Emily Johnson
"Praying for you, that your day be filled with less bodily fluids and more joy and peace." - Garrett Shimata
"Witty-titty." - Leslie
"I care more about my apple than my mouth." - Karin Hetsler
"Speaking of Christmas, my dad's having hip replacement surgery." - Danielle Juengel
"He wants to give you a double portion, because he loves you more than his other wives." - Cassidy Thompson
Sunday, November 29th - Saturday, December 5th, 2009
"I watched about my hoo-hoo at work. Awkward." - Emily Johnson
"Don't worry, I'll bring the awkwardness. I've got it covered." - Katie Stall
"I guess I shouldn't throw-up face the sovereign will of God." - Emily Johnson
"Krista said you were getting kicked out at 10, and I thought, 'I wanna be a part of that." - Kendra Evans
"The rapture, cereal...I don't think either of them differ in importance here, Krista." - Emily Johnson
"Sorry, when we fight, it's hard to speak English." - Linky
"Did I ever tell you I have a 10/40 window in my hair?" - Christine Waldersen
"Don't worry, I'll bring the awkwardness. I've got it covered." - Katie Stall
"I guess I shouldn't throw-up face the sovereign will of God." - Emily Johnson
"Krista said you were getting kicked out at 10, and I thought, 'I wanna be a part of that." - Kendra Evans
"The rapture, cereal...I don't think either of them differ in importance here, Krista." - Emily Johnson
"Sorry, when we fight, it's hard to speak English." - Linky
"Did I ever tell you I have a 10/40 window in my hair?" - Christine Waldersen
Sunday, November 22nd - Saturday, November 28th
"Harold sounds like an exterminator or a plumber, not really a prince." - Emily Johnson
"Thanks for combing my arm hair." - Matt Dodd
"What are we? Are we a cult or are we not a cult?" - Cameron Dodd
"And then she started to curse..." - Casey
"Where do you go to recrotch your jeans?" - Tom Van Devender
"Then your dad could poop an orange tree." - Garrett Shimata
"Not hitting on you...friends with your pregnant wife." - Elisabeth McMenamy
"Thanks for combing my arm hair." - Matt Dodd
"What are we? Are we a cult or are we not a cult?" - Cameron Dodd
"And then she started to curse..." - Casey
"Where do you go to recrotch your jeans?" - Tom Van Devender
"Then your dad could poop an orange tree." - Garrett Shimata
"Not hitting on you...friends with your pregnant wife." - Elisabeth McMenamy
Sunday, November 15th - Saturday, November 21st, 2009
"I only poop when I run." - Cassidy Thompson
"I don't want you to want a humpback." - Amanda Wolfard
"What are you thinking, having your foot on your bed where her butt goes?" - Kendra Evans
"I'm a girl that's a guy." - Emily Johnson
"My optometrist is gay and I still had a crush on him." - Kendra Evans
"Sometimes it's advantageous to be sleeping near Krista." - Pamela Robinson
"I feel like I'm supposed to be offended, but I don't know why." - Katie Stall
"I don't want you to want a humpback." - Amanda Wolfard
"What are you thinking, having your foot on your bed where her butt goes?" - Kendra Evans
"I'm a girl that's a guy." - Emily Johnson
"My optometrist is gay and I still had a crush on him." - Kendra Evans
"Sometimes it's advantageous to be sleeping near Krista." - Pamela Robinson
"I feel like I'm supposed to be offended, but I don't know why." - Katie Stall
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Sunday, November 8th - Saturday, November 14th, 2009
"Ai maritat?" - Simona Oprea
"I'll try to have a dream tonight about you." - Amanda Wolfard
"Sometimes I take it out of context and write it in cards when people have babies." - Cassidy Thompson
"Blizzing fireboxes!!" - Leslie
"It makes you think about Michelle Obama's crotch?" - Emily Johnson
"So did Jesus just like teleport them?" - Emily Johnson
"Am I going through puberty again?" - Smedly Yates
"I'll try to have a dream tonight about you." - Amanda Wolfard
"Sometimes I take it out of context and write it in cards when people have babies." - Cassidy Thompson
"Blizzing fireboxes!!" - Leslie
"It makes you think about Michelle Obama's crotch?" - Emily Johnson
"So did Jesus just like teleport them?" - Emily Johnson
"Am I going through puberty again?" - Smedly Yates
Sunday, November 1st - Saturday, November 7th, 2009
"I am only distracted by deflowered donkeys." - Emily Johnson
"Why don't they just mate with the ones who have babies?" - Amanda Wolfard
"Tired hot diarrhea...gross." - Amanda Wolfard
"It's like when the white people came to America, and all the Indians died." - Garrett Shimata
"I've been single since 1985." - Emily Johnson
"What happened to the instrument? ... It got...poked." - Anna
"It just makes you wanna cuss, you know?" - Dre Harris
"Why don't they just mate with the ones who have babies?" - Amanda Wolfard
"Tired hot diarrhea...gross." - Amanda Wolfard
"It's like when the white people came to America, and all the Indians died." - Garrett Shimata
"I've been single since 1985." - Emily Johnson
"What happened to the instrument? ... It got...poked." - Anna
"It just makes you wanna cuss, you know?" - Dre Harris
Sunday, October 25th- Saturday, October 31st, 2009
"You SHOULD be birthday on your dirty." - Emily Johnson
"What if this plane crashes while I'm pooping?" - Liz Petrisans
"Remember when we were single and lived in a house with all girls and sat in a bed and gave rice to children?" - Amanda Wolfard
"Krista see, Krista do." - Leslie
"I mean I don't think I'm a rose bush." - Emily Johnson
"I think it'd be fun if you had to pat the goat on the head to win." - Garrett Shimata
"Nothing says love like a rocket." - Katie Stall
"What if this plane crashes while I'm pooping?" - Liz Petrisans
"Remember when we were single and lived in a house with all girls and sat in a bed and gave rice to children?" - Amanda Wolfard
"Krista see, Krista do." - Leslie
"I mean I don't think I'm a rose bush." - Emily Johnson
"I think it'd be fun if you had to pat the goat on the head to win." - Garrett Shimata
"Nothing says love like a rocket." - Katie Stall
Sunday, October 18th - Saturday, October 24th
"Are we acting Asian?" - Bri Fong
"Don't laugh. We're old." - guy at CVS clinic
"You're going to put her butt essence on your face." - Emily Johnson
"Emily likes to make things weird." - Amanda Wolfard
"I got punched in the face by a three-year-old yesterday, and I thought of you." - Stacy Stravitz
"Katie Stall, pagan moon worshipper." - Garrett Shimata
"I've decided I like breathing. Breathing helps." - Anna Van Devender
"Don't laugh. We're old." - guy at CVS clinic
"You're going to put her butt essence on your face." - Emily Johnson
"Emily likes to make things weird." - Amanda Wolfard
"I got punched in the face by a three-year-old yesterday, and I thought of you." - Stacy Stravitz
"Katie Stall, pagan moon worshipper." - Garrett Shimata
"I've decided I like breathing. Breathing helps." - Anna Van Devender
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Sunday, October 11th - Saturday, October 17th, 2009
"I could be Satan...or something...I mean, I don't wanna be..." - Amanda Wolfard
"I feel like I saw a lot of cleavage right now." - Amanda Wolfard
"I don't know if she'll even poop for him." - Karin Hetsler
"I'll always be your friend and I'll always be Asian...at least I think I'll always be Asian. Who knows nowadays?" - Emily Shen
"Prince Charming, little darlings, we'll figure it all out...you make infertility fun!" - Elisabeth McMenamy
"So no, it shouldn't be awkward, unless you have something against Bible doctrine." - Garrett Shimata
"I feel like we're talking about a pet, but we're not. We're talking about an Asian." - Emily Johnson
"I feel like I saw a lot of cleavage right now." - Amanda Wolfard
"I don't know if she'll even poop for him." - Karin Hetsler
"I'll always be your friend and I'll always be Asian...at least I think I'll always be Asian. Who knows nowadays?" - Emily Shen
"Prince Charming, little darlings, we'll figure it all out...you make infertility fun!" - Elisabeth McMenamy
"So no, it shouldn't be awkward, unless you have something against Bible doctrine." - Garrett Shimata
"I feel like we're talking about a pet, but we're not. We're talking about an Asian." - Emily Johnson
Sunday, October 4th - Saturday, October 10th, 2009
"Never anywhere in my schooling did I learn that you could recycle dreams." - Emily Johnson
"Almost pumpkin!" - Kassandra
"Goodbye, Krista. Don't run in the bathroom!" - Timothy
"I'm a little bit funny today." - Razvan Dobre
"Arizona is all about being Mormon." - Kendra Evans
"Uh, I don't think we made the mules. I think the mules made themselves." - Cassidy Thompson
"Why is the Grand Canyon so big?" - Derek Robinson
"Almost pumpkin!" - Kassandra
"Goodbye, Krista. Don't run in the bathroom!" - Timothy
"I'm a little bit funny today." - Razvan Dobre
"Arizona is all about being Mormon." - Kendra Evans
"Uh, I don't think we made the mules. I think the mules made themselves." - Cassidy Thompson
"Why is the Grand Canyon so big?" - Derek Robinson
Sunday, September 27th - Saturday, October 3rd
"Sure, my holiness is already shot, why not add my contentment?" - Emily Johnson
"Monday, no! Tuesday, no! Wednesday, no! Thursday, no! Friday!! Friday puppets!" - Meghan
"If an ant came up to me and started saying that a beetle was better than me, I'd be like, 'What? Squish!'" - Matt Dodd
"Emily, if you ask me one more time, I will never rap again!" - Amanda Wolfard
"I'm a professional boxer." - Corey at Oreganos
"To conserve space, I've started referring to Jesus Christ as J.C." - Emily Johnson
"When I hear the word naked, I think of naked people." - Amanda Wolfard
"Monday, no! Tuesday, no! Wednesday, no! Thursday, no! Friday!! Friday puppets!" - Meghan
"If an ant came up to me and started saying that a beetle was better than me, I'd be like, 'What? Squish!'" - Matt Dodd
"Emily, if you ask me one more time, I will never rap again!" - Amanda Wolfard
"I'm a professional boxer." - Corey at Oreganos
"To conserve space, I've started referring to Jesus Christ as J.C." - Emily Johnson
"When I hear the word naked, I think of naked people." - Amanda Wolfard
Sunday, September 20th - Saturday, September 26th
"It wasn't as bad when Josh was bigger." - Ethan Rode
"Everything is with a pleasant odor. Why does it have to smell good?" - Karin Hetsler
"I'm not pregnant, am I?" - Cameron Dodd
"I'm so short I almost died." - Emily Johnson
"I was just thinking about people who shave their arms." - Emily Johnson
"You sound like a professional." - Grace
"It's like a creeper that's coming on to you." - Kim Delnoce
"Everything is with a pleasant odor. Why does it have to smell good?" - Karin Hetsler
"I'm not pregnant, am I?" - Cameron Dodd
"I'm so short I almost died." - Emily Johnson
"I was just thinking about people who shave their arms." - Emily Johnson
"You sound like a professional." - Grace
"It's like a creeper that's coming on to you." - Kim Delnoce
Sunday, September 13th - Saturday, September 19th, 2009
"Her obsessiveness comes out weird, kinda makes you think that she doesn't think your butt looks good." - Amanda Wolfard
"To cook, you have to know math." - Amanda Wolfard
"Hawaiian rainbows are, like, way better than North Dakota rainbows." - Emily Johnson
"Sing Hello Song at 3:53!" - Nick
"Do you want to stand outside the door and tell me about your day while I poop?" - Emily Johnson
"I thought he was a machine, but then he was a person." - Pamela Robinson
"If a crocodile ate my neighbor, I would sue." - Katy Brotherton
"To cook, you have to know math." - Amanda Wolfard
"Hawaiian rainbows are, like, way better than North Dakota rainbows." - Emily Johnson
"Sing Hello Song at 3:53!" - Nick
"Do you want to stand outside the door and tell me about your day while I poop?" - Emily Johnson
"I thought he was a machine, but then he was a person." - Pamela Robinson
"If a crocodile ate my neighbor, I would sue." - Katy Brotherton
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