Sunday, November 30th - Saturday, December 6th, 2008

"There is a small minority of us that still know what I'm talking about." - Scott Maxwell

"It's like Larry-Boy, but a cactus, not a cucumber." - Tracey Carlin

"I told her you were here and we were all having a slumber party." - Derek Robinson

"What is birth control?" - Leslie

"In the IMDB facts it said that in Japanese Shimata means 'The one who made the wrong choice' or something like that." - Katie Stall

"The top part's fat, but the bottom's a baby." -Tarrah Ritchie

"Hi, I'm Elisabeth. I'm going to put toilet paper in your pants." - Elisabeth McMenamy

Sunday, November 23rd - Saturday, November 29th, 2008

"As long as he stays away from crack and you both keep your tongues inside your mouths, we'll be ok." - Kendra Evans

"Is she pregnant? Her boobs are so big!" - Amanda Wolfard

"Jake knows computers, too? He's like Superman!" - Amanda Wolfard

"You'll offend my people!" - Michael Yuen

"My dog, the puppy pornstar." - Tim Van Devender

"That's the 'ask Jesus into your heart' bench." - Christine Waldersen

"Penile jewelry is all the rage. It's everywhere!" - Michael Yuen

Sunday, November 16th - Saturday, November 22nd, 2008

"Wanna know how I learned to curl my hair? You Tube, check it out." - Danielle Juengel

"That's how I received love as a child - bread." - Amanda Wolfard

"...even the whole naked situation." - Alice Lee

"I might see Krista Maria Vista." - Leslie

"Pretty people get things that ugly people don't. " - Kendra Evans

"I love that they both have their hair pulled back...I remember the year they DIDN'T." - Stephanie Childs

"Kirk is very conscious of his colon." - Elisabeth McMenamy

Sunday, November 9th - Saturday, November 15th, 2008

"Wool would just be a real bummer to wear in the middle east." - Scott Maxwell

"That happens on my butt." -Amanda Wolfard

"I'll send him to the Korean war." - Leslie

"It just sucks, cause, like, God's in control." - Christine Waldersen

"Kudos, Lean Pockets. You created a beautiful thing." - Kendra Evans

"You can still be a father and save the world. It's not a big deal." - Amanda Wolfard

"You're gonna wear jerseys, and I'm gonna wear some kind of robe." - Cassidy Thompson

Sunday, November 2nd - Saturday, November 8th, 2008

"They'll be out a ring-bearer bearer and a ring-bearer too." - Tracey Carlin

"I haven't sinned in like 3 weeks." - Elisabeth McMenamy

"Goodbye Krista. Enjoy your musics and your songs." - Joe

"The boys like her cause she kisses them." - Karin Hetsler

"They won't even talk to girls, much less talk about parts they're not allowed to see." - Kendra Evans

"Babies can't have babies!" - Grace

"We should go to Vegas, so we can go to Vegas." - Kendra Evans

Sunday, October 26th - Saturday, November 1st, 2008

"Pam, go be random in there. Krista needs a quote." - Kendra Evans

"One time a kid at the hospital made fun of my pigeon feet. I wanted to hit him." - Amanda Wolfard

"I don't have to submit to you, pastor! I have free will going on." - Cameron Dodd

"I guess Leslie has a problem with pumpkin goo." - Leslie

"My beauty queen...you are to me...there's no such thing as no beauty queen." - Chantell

"He has a lot of time left ahead of him to become the Antichrist." - Emily Johnson

"Besides the rabies kid, I really like working with kids." - Katie Stall

Sunday, October 19th - Saturday, October 25th, 2008

"Guilty of hating church, not sleeping with your boyfriend." - Kendra Evans

"There are no Mexicans in San Diego." - Kirsten

"They're so like artsy, you know, that they're like out of their mind." - Amanda Wolfard

"Mr. Skeleton has a blister on his foot." - Leslie

"Oh shut your mouth, that is too far. I draw the line at corn, Krista." - Kendra Evans

"God lives in a silver box. I don't know why." - Stacy Stravitz

"Yes, you left your belly button cups here, and we will drink juice from them, and it will be the blood of Christ." - Cassidy Thompson

Sunday, October 12th - Saturday, October 18th

"I don't really want to smell this place up, especially if I am not supposed to wear earrings." - Emily Johnson

"You have to take your shirt off..."- Kirsten

"When you end it with, 'I have cold sores,' it just doesn't seem like, you know, an appropriate altar call." - Cameron Dodd

"Your brain is confused." - Leslie

"Sweet, consider yourself judged, loser." - Lee Thompson

"But somehow when I'm at work my teeth get infinitely more funky." - Rebecca Evans

"I whacked your bottom, because it was right there." - Karin Hetsler

Sunday, October 5th - Saturday, October 11th, 2008

"I have a date that Saturday in the afternoon. He's a Mormon; he can't go out at night." - Derek Robinson

"I googled myself, but I did NOT google Kendra Evans pornstar." - Kendra Evans

"I think that Katy said this during the introduction. What did you say?" - Matt Dodd

"Eww Derek poop, that's probably gonna smell. That's a whole lot of man to be pooping." - Amanda Wolfard

"Sorry he'll blame you for failing. Sorry you will be excommunicated." - Cassidy Thompson

"You know my hand?" - Danielle Juengel

"Jack had diarrhea and so did I." - Hannah McCoy

Sunday, September 28th - Saturday, October 4th, 2008

"Pam, you're really small. Let's throw YOU." - Pamela Wiens

"Uncle have hair? Mine no." - Kassandra

"You should find a goat and bond with it." - Cameron Dodd

"You're a hairy bunch." - Bert Alexander

"I always say that the very first thing - well, after I bow before the Lord and worship Him - is to hug a tiger." - Kendra Evans

"We say, 'goodnight, I love you,' and then I turn red, and then I go to bed." - Pamela Wiens

"Something's got to go, and it's not going to be the sandpit." - Emily Johnson

Sunday, September 21st - Saturday, September 27th, 2008

"It is, and so is having Heaven on your butt." - Pamela Wiens

"I was in a really bad mood, and I took it out on my facebook status." - Christine Waldersen

"They're going to be surrounded by God's fire, so they'll be super safe, not like regular fire, which would burn up the city." - George Finnegan

"I was trying to send blood there or somethin..."- Kendra Evans

"You're doing beautifully with the clapping your hands." - Mac Powell

"24 is old enough to talk to women." - Elisabeth McMenamy

"Have a great summer!" - Chantell

Sunday, September 14th - Saturday, September 20th

"I don't think facebook friendship is pulling a Ruth. You're not exactly laying at his feet." - Elisabeth McMenamy

"Take the guard OFF of your heart." - Kendra Evans

"I didn't want Kim to be yelling a story about homeless people." - Cameron Dodd

"Enjoy your respectable sins. I know you already do." - Cassidy Thompson

"She says you owe her coffee. She's here on Monday." - Amanda Renteria

"Have you ever had a pilot tell you they're giving you the sexy eye?" -Amanda Keim

I'm legally handicapped, because I got married." - Cameron Dodd

Sunday, September 7th - Saturday, September 13th, 2008

"I knew it! You have college written all over you!" - Ruth Ann McKain

"The Kangaroo Finds a Treasure, by President Lincoln. Music by Princess Aurora." - Kirsten

"Once we're done being prideful and prejudiced..." - Pamela Wiens

"He has like part of her body. They're like family." - Amanda Wolfard

"I know the Mulberry Mush." - Celeste Gutierrez

"Give me a tambourine!" - Gilbert

"I'm not taking the lead in that situation. Someone much taller and blacker is." - Elisabeth McMenamy

Sunday, August 31st - Saturday, September 6th, 2008

"My alcohol tastes better than your heart." - Emily Johnson

"Unless some creepo tries to get you to talk about the Bible with him..." - Kendra Evans

"Can you fix this giant pimple in my ear?" - Kim Delnoce

"Aliens are never happy." - Casey

"It was one of the most awkward moments of my life...and I'm pretty awkward." - Lindsay Plocher

"I'm more worried about the Chinese, because I feel like I'm at a church full of spies." - Garrett Shimata

"I never said I would vote for Obama. I just like his wife; I think she's cute." - Christine Waldersen

Sunday, August 24th - Saturday, August 30th, 2008

"I didn't have to go to speech class and looked down on those who did." - Cassidy Thompson

"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful queen named Kirsten and a royalty horse named Krista." - Kirsten

"Get your ducks in a row, peacock!" - Leslie

"Maybe he thought if he threw it, he would knock the chrysalis out of it." - Kendra Evans

"Hi, Kim. I can smell your breath." - Kelsey Jones

"I don't believe that. I'm pretty sure I would like marijuana." - Kendra Evans

"Krista, I'm so bad at getting engaged." - Michelle Ford

Sunday, August 17th - Saturday, August 23rd

"Thank you guys so much for coming and giving birth to me." - Jim Lantz

"I don't want to jump for that ball - my butt cheek might fall out." - Kendall Iserman

"It's awkward? That's fine, I'm nodding!" - Cameron Dodd

"Don't worry, caterpillar. You're going to turn into a moth." - Casey

"What if you DIDN'T wake up to a brand new day?" - Tracey Carlin

"If it's a hicky, hide it. If it's not, wear it with pride and let people think that it is." - Elisabeth McMenamy

"K, what are you doing on the cup?" - Katie Stall

Sunday, August 10th - Saturday, August 16th, 2008

"It wasn't like a commercial for being a better person. That might have been cuter." - Kendra Evans

"It's the middle of the day, but there's a darkness coming off of you." - Garrett Shimata

"His teeth look really crowded, but he swims good." - Amanda Wolfard

"I don't want any sheep to harbor bitterness toward you." - Danielle Juengel

"Krista was a go-go dancer." - Mark Wiens

"They don't take good pictures. It's probably cause they're all poor." - Emily Johnson

"They love hugging." - Joe

Sunday, August 3rd - Saturday, August 9th, 2008

"Tu no necesitas cafe?" - Wurtsboro waitress

"What is this adhesive stuff?! I don't think that's what they use on their yarmulkes." - Amber Souto

"If I didn't eat eggs, I would also have to be against abortion." - Mark Steffen

"Thank you. You should be a model also." - Newark airport security guy

"I'm wearing my sweat, ok?" - Pamela Wiens

"Ooh...what is chalk?" - Amber Souto

"Maybe you can find it wherever you last put it." - Amber Souto

Sunday, July 27th - Saturday, August 2nd, 2008

"His religious views are secular humanist. Like, why would he even poke me?" - Kendra Evans

"Why won't she let me talk to Kamille? That's mean!" - Pamela Wiens

"Don't call him anything. Just sleep with him." - Pamela Wiens

"If I will have the oportunity to come to America, I will bring you a box of fanta from Europe. - Razvan Dobre

"If you have dark hair, and you're kinda sweaty, you're Italian." - Mark Steffen

"There's nothing like running. Running from your problems. Your ass problems." - Amanda Ruddy

"I have to go. We're holding hands." - Conio Loretto

Sunday, July 20th - Saturday, July 26th, 2008

"You can go under the table and say hello to Joey in a special way." - Emma Perkins

"Best wishes and highest regards to your mom." - Vasi Ciobanu

"I have a big mole here on this mole. I don't tell everyone that." - Kim Delnoce

"That's not a cat, it's my wife." - Dimitri Lazarescu

"And then I got told I looked like a 15-year-old Mexican." - Pamela Wiens

"Her bed was made for eating too much Ethiopian food." - Mark Wiens

"I love Smallville, because the boy is so cute, and the girl is so beautiful." - Chloe Brake

Sunday, July 13th - Saturday, July 19th, 2008

"We had to die, Mommy!" - James Kershaw

"Did you always wear your ears inside your hat?" - Amanda Wolfard

"The pink milk is thirsty." - Timothy

"It's a shrine to the dinosaur underwear." - Shantal Brake

"So if she for some reason googles slushee and lame, my name will come up, but hers will not." - Amanda Keim

"If you're trying to survive in the wilderness, have sex with someone of the same sex for survival." - Tracey Carlin

"When I say Hooters, I mean the owls in Papago Park." - Eric Sells

Sunday, July 6th - Saturday, July 12th, 2008

"Dang her integrity!" - Kendra Evans

"She's a family member. She's allowed to be on the nightstand." - Heather Ashby

"I've always liked George..." - Cameron Dodd

"The baby bird was sad because he interrupted the baseball game." -Ryan

"Sharing margaritas is my spiritual gift." - Emily Johnson

"I think I'm funny, and he doesn't. he thinks I'm weird." - Danielle Juengel

"That could be her middle name. She doesn't have one." - Sarah Shipley

Sunday, June 29th - Saturday, July 5th, 2008

"I had a friend...I still have a friend; he's still my friend." - Scott Maxwell

"Paul was the original Ritalin kid." - Elisabeth McMenamy

"I don't eat peas or carrots or potatoes." - Timothy

"I have a bottle of red wine on my nightstand." - Tracey Carlin

"Squiggly was the word. The town of Marana is squiggly." - Anna Van Devender

"In the backyard, we have four dogs buried, two cats, and two chickens." - Patty Slijk

"I thought for your wedding you'd have a bouquet in one hand and a water bottle in the other." - Patty Slijk

Sunday, June 22nd - Saturday, June 28th, 2008

"I mean, we're just going to be talking about sex, kids, pregnancies, stuff like that." - Derek Robinson

"What's so Methodist about this cheese?" - Pamela Wiens

"Remember Brad with the mandolin, and Gill with the 6 kids?" - Cameron Dodd

"What's your favorite drug?" - Casey

"I wonder why I'm sitting under the table." - Celeste Gutierrez

"That's what secret agents do." - Grace

"Oh, wait...Prince Caspian has a Spanish accent. Sometimes I get them confused." - Emily Johnson

Sunday, June 15th - Saturday, June 21st

"I don't know if CJ and Rick know this, but I'm kind of a big deal." - Elisabeth McMenamy

"If you don't like fish, there will be some kind of glorified pizza, and I'm fairly certain it will be totally healthy." - John Piper

"To live is Christ, to die is George's fault." - Elisabeth McMenamy

"I call Kamille my chocolate milk, because she's brown and sweet and my favorite." - Kendra Evans

"I'm too good for you." - Chantell

"Wal-Mart don't talk! It's just a store!" - Jackson

"Poop." - LoLo

Sunday, June 8th - Saturday, June 14th

"Please stay clothed and at home from now on." - Kendra Evans

"I support myself financially. Do you wanna go get a coke at Sonic?" - Hannah Kunkle

"The fact that you referred to it as "my Amos" makes it that much better." - Jeremy Evans

"I don't feel like I know Christine that well, you know, when I stop and think about it." - Christine Waldersen

"Dear Dad: Ants make me wanna dance." - Amanda Wolfard

"So many people, so little business for the bar." - Christine Waldersen

"I'm only praising God because I'm addicted." - Emily Johnson

Sunday, June 1st - Saturday, June 7th

"I don't want to be rude. I am rude; I don't want to appear rude." - Vasi Ciobanu

"Shut up! My music therapy sessions are always interrupted by text messages on my invisible phone!" - Kendra Evans

"Maybe I should just practice walking around with a fork in my hand and not dropping it." - Kim Delnoce

"Aici si la?" - Cathy Lee

"My mom started a blog for her back disease." - Danielle Juengel

"That's how evil she is - her tongue is adhesive!" - Elisabeth McMenamy

"I think Emily lied about having to go pee. I don't think you should ever talk about her crotch again." - Elisabeth McMenamy

Sunday, May 25th - Saturday, May 31st, 2008

"It smells like home - like the Romanian countryside." - Vasi Ciobanu

"Kids are gross." - Kendra Evans

"She basically prevents me from needing any additional protective coating that would oxidize my outer layer and cause me to loose my most attractive properties." - Jeremy Foster

"Oh, my childhood...it's coming back to me." - Amanda Wolfard

"Then I say, "duh duh duh duh," and then it appears." - Grace

"She needs to lose this, cause this makes her look like a guy." - Kendra Evans

"I, like, lust ater naps." - Elisabeth McMenamy

Sunday, May 18th - Saturday, May 24th, 2008

"I have to be agressive about becoming popular." - Christine Waldersen

"This is a good time for making Chihuahua babies." - Jacob Hantla

"I DO need God more than I need cookies." - Stacy Labor

"Your country is still developing. What's that like?" - Amanda Wolfard

"I want to walk in your sandals...so we can compare whose life is easier." - Leslie

"Don't be concerned with what some girls are wearing..." - Vasi Ciobanu

"I got him back for basically undressing me." - Vasi Ciobanu

Sunday, May 11th - Saturday, May 17th,2008

"Thank you for this wonderful, wonderful morning." - Jayce Maxwell

"We skipped that part and went straight for the funky disease." - Stacy Labor

"Where's Cameron? She was wrong! I'll see you at Jehoshaphat!" - Matt Dodd

"Dramatic, stubborn, and sexy." - Leslie

"I just get sick of being on this planet." - Amanda Wolfard

"Do you ever look at someone from a funny angle and think they just have one arm?" - Amber Souto

"I'll have pale white English babies and still call them "mi hijo." -Elisabeth McMenamy

Sunday, May 4th- Saturday, May 10th, 2008

"Miss Kendra never remembers anything." - Abby Klingenberg

"My hands are full of canteloupe, and her hands are full of guitar." - Karin Hetsler

"Goodbye! Enjoy the instruments!" - Joe

"You should play Romanian Uno with a real Romanian!" - Katie Stall

"Somehow they knew she was Black..." - Katie Stall

"Grace and Krista love each other very much, and they make music every day on Fridays." - Grace

"I met a guy. He has red hair." - Alyssa Shangraw

Sunday, April 27th - Saturday, May 3rd, 2008

"Mommy, wipe! Mommy, wipe! Mommy, wipe!..." -Connor Brake

"Speaking of Hitler..." -Amanda Wolfard

"Oh my gosh...I was kind of a player." - Pamela Wiens

"I'm glad you would love me anyway, but I decided not to risk it." - Anna Van Devender

"My boss is crazy. She's, like, not sane, but she's SOOO nice." - Amanda Wolfard

"When I say hi, everything catches on fire." - Grace

"I'm not disagreeing with you, but I may be right." - Steve Hetsler

Sunday, April 20th - Saturday, April 26th, 2008

"Leave room for the Holy Spirit, and the Holy Spirit's a chunker." - Kendra Evans

"I had to be single from Mike Jenks before I could be in a relationship with Michael Jenks." - Leah Koch

"Then he asked if I had a prostate." - Cassidy Thompson

"She's still getting real with Derek." - Kendra Evans

"You have such an easy life. You never had to write a report on Ben Franklin." - Jasmine

"I guess she assumed we were at home - you know, not out on the streets with a popsicle." - Pamela Wiens

"Your poo poo I think already went to bed, because it's not coming out." - Shantal Brake

Sunday, April 13th - Saturday, April 19th, 2008

"I'll also be on top of the world, by the way." - Cassidy Thompson

"What was that owl's name in Winnie the Pooh?" - Hannah Kunkle

"I know lots of people have poked me; I just don't know what it means." - Jacob Hantla

"You just gotta experiment with your arms." - Amanda Wolfard

"Maybe you should give up on being a music therapist." - Chantell

"My lack of hair growth led me to Jesus." - Elisabeth McMenamy

"I wanna whisper sweet funny nothings into your ear." -Becky Sitton

Sunday, April 6th - Saturday, April 12th, 2008

"And I am Razvan crazy?" - Razvan Dobre

"It was my dream for a very long time to answer the phone in the kitchen at St. Matthew." - Christine Waldersen

"How IS your space?" - Karin Hetsler

"I maybe should only eat purple goldfish once a day." - Pamela Wiens

"I'd just tell Derek to get over it - find some new nuts that he likes." - Amanda Wolfard

"It's scratched." - Anna

"I want to say a lizard, but I don't think she would crucify her pet." - Emily Johnson

Sunday, March 30th - Saturday, April 5, 2008

"I'm excited about your dreams. I don't mean your aspirations. I mean your dreams. I'm excited about your aspirations, too; don't get me wrong." - Danielle Juengel

"I'm afraid...death just walked in." - Katie Stall

"I have abnormally large thighs for a man...for a human." - Derek Robinson

"I would call him Percy instead." - Leslie

"I was going to take a shower, but then I remembered the child life gadget." - Pamela Wiens

"We had a chicken named Gus, and Lee killed him behind my back." - Matt Schraeder

"I forgot to pray for your Romanian gangster man." - Alex Evjen

Sunday, March 23rd - Saturday, March 29th

"Why is erotica right next to recovery?" - Tracey Carlin

"No, you don't even know! I got the tongues last night!" - Kristin Julian

"And sin was RAMPANT!" - Rebecca Evans

"And I said, 'Where'd you learn to kiss? From a seal?' He said, 'no.'" - Leslie

"And we can live together..." - Razvan Dobre

"There's nothing wrong with saying you want to work on your Romanian, and you can check for a wedding ring later." - Amanda Keim

"We were a safe haven for all the fake religious people." - Christine Waldersen

Sunday, March 16th - Saturday, March 22nd, 2008

"I wasn't anywhere near a camera at that point." - Tim Van Devender

"Happy St. Patricks Day! You're a whore!" - Kendra Evans

"I'm the man who sat on the blanket." - Jeremy Evans

"Do all my work, and talk a lot, and go crazy." -Leslie

"She's the crazy one, and we're seeing things." - Carol Small

"My skin is not stinky." - Kirsten

"Nothing says 'I love you' like knives." - Amanda Wolfard

Sunday, March 9th - Saturday, March 15, 2008

"A raunchy chai, please." - Kendra Evans

"I seem like a normal person until you read Krista's quotes-of-the-day." - Pamela Wiens

"I was just looking at you and thinking - not about you, about everything different." - Amanda Wolfard

"You guys are kind of like my Christmas tree." - Pamela Wiens

"Alright, Pamela, I'm going to let you go. It was nice talking to you. How's your love life?" - Mearle Wiens

"Give my regards to Broadway...and Anna and Tim." - Tracey Carlin

"Kendra loves it when Emily speaks in third person." - Kendra Evans

Sunday, March 2nd - Saturday, March 8, 2008

"I hope we don't all have to go naked. That would be awkward." - Christine Waldersen

"Talking about poop is fun." - Amanda Wolfard

"My cousin is engaged, and I found out on facebook. It's ok, she's just a second cousin." - Katie Stall

"Sticks, stones, words, hurt, but they don't bite like roosters do." - Leslie

"Krista, that's enough." - Grace

"'Pamela, Pamela, do you have boyfriend?' 'Yes, Popo, and he's big and black.'" -Kendra Evans

"He tries to suckle every part of my skin as well. If anything, he's bi." - Amanda Keim

Sunday, February 24th - Saturday, March 1st, 2008

"I know they'll jump all over you...spiritually." - Amanda Wolfard

"You are pretty creepy. You give me the chilly-willies." - Katie Stall

"I hope I'm not a creepy man." - Pamela Wiens

"Your fallopian tubes hurt? Do they, Pam?" - Kendra Evans

"I'm just saying I'm too good for you!" - Chantell

"He was creepy in a nice way. I mean, he was nice in a creepy way." - Kendra Evans

"My room is really messy cause I love it." - Chloe Brake

Sunday, February 17th - Saturday, February 23rd, 2008

"Say, 'I want to go to the zoo....'" - Logan Parks

"Not many husbands cuddle like I cuddle. I'm so great." - Jeremy Foster

"If you ever see me eating another pizookie, please kill me." - Amanda Wolfard

"I heart your decision to eat spinach once in awhile." - Pamela Wiens

"If you were in Pam's and my place right then, you would have been really confused and judgmental, too." - Kendra Evans

"You don't look like Derek..." - Andrew Stravitz

"I didn't find the party tonight, but I did find the retirement community." - Katie Stall

April 2001

Brent Bachelder
"Shut your hole and eat my omellete."
Tim Klingler
"Dag mabbit."
Mr. Cash
"I got some information on Belize."
April Christiansen
"I don't like having a penis on my eraser."
Christine Waldersen
"Katie's boyfriend just walked by and she didn't even say hi."
Christine Waldersen
"Oh, so you're just a ho."
Jessie Smith
"Not uno, not dos, not tres, but ocho mexicanos!"
April Christiansen
"They all work at Mimi's, it's a breeding ground."
Christine Waldersen
"The flying Mexicans, that's what it shall be called."
Tara
"If war breaks out, we can just send the guys to Hawaii and have them marry their best friends. They don't allow gays in the military."
Lindsey Gamard
"I'm attaching my sausage to my backpack, so that no one mistakes my sausage for theirs."
Brent Bachelder
"Did we just turn Jewish?"
Megan Jeffery
"Hey, my prom dress is really easy to take off. Maybe you should ask me."
Judy Keim
"Careful, Amanda. It's brand new and really sharp."
Debbie Bachelder
"Welcome to the family."
Heather Ashby
"I’m half-dressed, Mom. Be positive!"
Jonny Harrop
"He calls me a whore ,too."
Ted Bachelder
"You ate my star."
Lindsey Gamard
"Hi, we're gay bike-riding Mexicans."
NoNo Go
"I thought he was making out…all I saw were legs!"
Bart Evans
"It wasn't Ben!"
Brent Bachelder
"I could go play with myself."
Lucia Idarraga
"Cuantos novios tiene?"
April Christiansen
"It must be what God wants. Maybe I'd have a kid."
Ralph Crabtree
"Three minus one is…"
Lynh Bui
"Girls don't like dirty boys. Girls like boys that take baths."
Gail Hahn
"Hand check!"
Brent Bachelder
"Your breasts are inspiring."
Joel Lindstrom
"The color sticks out, not the boobs."
April Christiansen
"Megan and Christine end up pregnant, and it's your fault."

March 2001

Brent Bachelder
"That's my uncle."
Brent Bachelder
"Megan gets candy, and Krista gets Lucky."
Brent Bachelder
"I don't have to pee anymore."
Jen Bachelder
"Think of me."
Nikki Best
"It makes a hell of a…"
Tyler Lindstrom
"Eat the screw…if you ever want to come back to Youth Council again…"
Jamie Morgan
"I'm so proud of you guys."
Jen Bachelder
"At least we don't have a cow anymore."
Chi-Chi Hseih
"Could you clarify what you mean by 'first base?'"
Allison Johnson
"He'll wear the tops, and I'll wear the bottoms."
Megan Jeffery
"They're gonna turn into lesbians!"
Elisa Phelps
"He won't hit on you. He has a boyfriend!"
Stephanie Childs
"How is his dick doing?"
Brent Bachelder
"Sniff his butt. That's all you really want to do."
Megan Jeffery
"Don't think you're gonna burn me, cause I'm gonna burn you."
Tyler Lindstrom
"I could so be a dog."
Tyler Lindstrom
"You can go play badminton by yourself."
Brent Bachelder
"Her boogers taste better than my boogers."
Christine Waldersen
"I'm that kid, but in a car."
Brent Bachelder
"I have to show Krista my new fan…"
April Christiansen
"We can screw Brent and we can screw Chris and…no wait, never mind. We can forget about Brent and we can forget about Chris…"
April Christiansen
"He couldn't get his pants down."
Tamra Ingebrigtsen
"When you're naked…"
Elisa Phelps
"Do you realize I could give you half of my breasts and we'd both still have enough?"
Cristine Evans
"Unless they take away your neck…"
Brent Bachelder
"Pick a number, 1 through 99."
Brent Bachelder
"Lebanon sounds like an alien planet."
Katie Stall
"I can't depend on me cause I say dumb things like 'yes.'"
Jen Bachelder
"I don't know Elliot that well."
Matt Gherman
"Your mom must have lost a bet or something, when she married your dad."
Tara
"If I slapped your ass, would it make quote-of-the-day?"

May 2000

Linda Ballard
"Are you talking about math?"
Christine Waldersen
"Welcome to the wonderful world of H.I.V. - bye!"
Tara
Not in a Lilith Fair, lesbian kind of way. I love you like a cousin."
Sarah Shipley
"I would shove him back in."
Lindsey Kahler
"I have a dog's nose."
Grant Fishburn
"I'm going first."
Stephanie Childs
"Too bad smells can't be quotes."
Jared Klundt
"Damn it, April, you lazy bitch! What's the molar mass of chikoo?"
Wendy Glenn
"His gun doesn't fire."
Mark Stoker
"I'll show you my terrible swift sword."
Esther Wang
"You're such a blender."
Lindsey Gamard
"So this one day, we were going on a bass hunt."
Beth Farnsworth
"Jump on in, big guy."
Matthew Ingebrigtsen
"I, Matthew, do not smoke."
Monika Sandberg
"Will you please go touch Jay's butt?"
Alan Clark
"I write insulting songs. I write them well."
Lindsey Kahler
"I called her a dog. I told her to bark."
Megan Jeffery
"No, the mailman did NOT come at 10:00 tonight."
Megan Jeffery
"If, for some reason, you were locked in a room by yourself for a day, would you start talking to yourself just to have a quote-of-the-day?"
Tyler Lindstrom
"No more Amish talk."
Darci Earhart
"I wanted to be an alcoholic, dammit!"
Megan Jeffery
"I'm never going to the bathroom again!"
Megan Jeffery
"It's a lunch place, not a brunch place."
Christine Waldersen
"Bring it on, quote bitch!"
Christine Waldersen
"Welcome to Movie Phone!"
Megan Jeffery
"It's just your boxers, don't worry."
April Christiansen
"I decided it was the demons saying, 'hi.'"
Jamie Morgan
"Do you remember Ryan?"
Tyler Lindstrom, translated by Christine Waldersen
"Haaugghh!"
Stephanie Childs
"My virgin mouth!"
Jasmina Chow
"Keep the V!"

September 1999

Stephanie Childs
"Booster club?"
Nicole VerWoert
"Did you know a nerd is a whale's penis?"
Christine Waldersen
"Is it against our religion to spit gum at the ceiling?"
April Christiansen
"That's a funny word…funny."
April Christiansen
"What's the difference?"
Judy Keim
"Is Becca always a bitch?"
Krista Hetsler
"I want a hug."
Zach Earhart
"Lay off it or share."
Jared Klundt
"Pray? I’m gonna do it myself."
Danielle Jeffery
"I have a light."
Tara Donovan
"I love myself too much."
Tara Donovan
"What's a P.G.?"
Senora Jauregui
"Matt Shoemaker."
Bart Evans
"It piss…no, I can't say that."
Kevin Northrup
"My name is Francis?"
Mark Stoker
"Get that man a microphone."
Bart Evans
"You have to audition for those solos."
Valerie Keim
"Is Angie a minty lipstick?"
Zach Marinella
"Ask your parents."
Wendy Glenn
"Penetrate…I can't believe I said that."
Nate Hackman
"There you are, Peter."
Danielle Jeffery
"And they had sex in my bed."
Jon Furedy
"Me? I was just yawning."
Megan Jeffery
"Look what I got."
Krista Hetsler
"You did?"
Stephanie Childs
"Do you think God smoked?"
Elisa Phelps
"The moral of the story is: Don't marry a cop."
Liz Mongrain
"Let's get in an accident!"
Christine Waldersen
"Oh, wow."
Phoebe Larsen
"Those people are tall."

Summer 1999

Disclaimer: These are the first quotes I ever collected, and I've noticed many things:

1) My friends were not as funny in 1999 as they are today
2) I apparently thought many things were funny that actually were not in 1999
3) I am very glad I no longer give myself quote-of-the-day. If my friends were not funny in 1999, I was even less so. I'm pretty embarassed to even include these quotes now, but it's only fair since I embarass everyone else

Many quote-of-the-day rules were different in 1999. I gave myself quotes, I gave tv characters quotes, I quoted written things like movie tickets apparently. Also, it wasn't exactly quote-of-the-DAY but as many quotes as I had journal pages. That's why this entry is just summer instead of a specific month, cause they're not dated. Let's all just take a moment and be glad that quote-of-the-day has matured over time. Okay, onto the quotes:


Danielle Jeffery
"It's for…Christian luck!"
Notting Hill
"Beautiful isn't beautiful without a violin-playing goat."
Jeff
"To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump!"
Stephanie Childs
"I've got a key, I've got a key. I've got a key, hey hey, hey hey!"
Krista Hetsler
"Did you ever know that you're my hero?"
Darci Earhart
"God, I was hot!"
Becky Kerr
"We just slept."
James Downin
"Hello, my name is Simon, and I like to do drawings."
Darci Earhart
"Someday I'll learn to check the stalls!"
Jamie Morgan
"Darci, I can't wait til you have a crush."
Danielle Jeffery
"I'm Jim!"
Christine Waldersen
"I love you! You complete me!"
Stephanie Childs
"Head-First Street!"
Megan Jeffery
"Did I talk in my sleep last night?"
Jessie Smith
"With jetskis, you have to sit on them."
Matt Harrison
"That's NAU. That's Flagstaff's college."
Brent Bachelder
"So, who likes those popcorn jellybeans?"
April Christiansen
"Excuse me, do you carry any A bras?"
April Christiansen
"Comfortable or uncomfortable?"
Stephanie Childs
"We were going so fast they couldn't read the license plate."
Danielle Jeffery
"I got a different aspect of Johnny's."
Karin Hetsler
"Do you carry pitchforks?'
Tara Donovan
"You touched the…you hit the…!"
Joey Tribiani
"So be an adult and come watch tv with me in the fort!"
Megan Jeffery
"Well, I heard Brian doesn't have a a good jewel anyway."
Brent Bachelder
"Bangladesh!"
Jessie Smith
"The hamsters came down and conquered New Hampshire!"
Tiffany Phipps
"Brent is an f-a-g."
Krista Hetsler
"When one of us gets struck by lightning, we'll get out."
Karin Hetsler
"Talk to the baby."
Christine Waldersen
"Sure, hits from the bong. Good cover-up."
Christine Waldersen
"Darci would kill us if we invite Krista."
Karin Hetsler
"Obviously, there's a breast."
Krista Hetsler
"They had those Dateline hookers on tv."
Todd Lindquist
"My mother."
Jamie Morgan
"What are you thinking right now?"
Christine Waldersen
"Amba Uice."
Wendy Slijk
"I was born to be a rattlesnake."
Krista Hetsler
"You just wait."
Krista Hetsler
"Bufflehead and Whitey-boy."
Nicole Vasquez
"Doggies - out the door!"
Megan Jeffery
"Porn Star!"
Rob Jones
"If you put some ice cream on that spoon, it might taste better."
Paul Cox
"Is he still speaking English?"
Maegan Clark
"Have you seen my mommy?"
Grant Fishburn
"Why did I do that?"
Krista Hetsler
"I guess that one does kind of lead to that one."
Linda Christiansen
"You're never riding with Krista again!"
April Christiansen
"I was peeling a carrot, and it was just so relaxing!"
Linda
"Joel, do you know him? Is he good?"
Krista Hetsler
"Alyssa, where are you going?"
Christine Waldersen
"Are you sad that it's coming to a sudden end?"
Tara Donovan
"Are you still afraid of 'them?'"
Tara Donovan
"You got with your brother?"
local Tennessee person
"It's hard to squat and tinkle at the same time."
Tiffany Phipps
"No sex in the champagne room."
Sara Kerr
"He stood you up?"
Darci Earhart
"Hide the fucking hat."
Bethany Lindstrom
"Is this the 'buddy connection?'"
Krista Hetsler
"Could you repeat what you just said?"
Krista Hetsler
"Oh, shit…literally."
Tiffany Phipps
"Definitely a choir guy."
Stephanie Childs
"Fine, we'll go break some windows."
Tara Donovan
"I could feel the pain."
Krista Hetsler
"If God was calling, the line was busy with Becky."
Dr. Demento
"It's life, Jim, but not as we know it."
Tiffany Phipps
"I have soda pop all over me."
Stephanie Childs
"St. Matthew P.G.s rule!"
Tiffany Phipps
"These people can't sightread…sorry."
Tiffany Phipps
"For one thing, we broke up."
Sara Kerr
"Would you still be friends with me if I walked around like this?"
Alyssa Shangraw
"Toilet paper works better."
Amanda Keim
"I could have killed him. Even with that song, you could hear the vibrato in his voice."
Karin Hetsler
"Happy, get down."
Anna Hetsler
"It doesn't get you wet."
Karin Hetsler
"Go popo."
Steve Hetsler
"Do you guys have the car keys?"
Steve Hetsler
"I don't know if I died it."
Amanda Keim
"Fountain, cross-spa…"
Krista Hetsler
"I barked!"
Eage
"Go fart."
Alyssa Shangraw
"Walk much?"
Megan Jeffery
"How is it?"
Amanda Keim
"You could do it. She did it."
Krista Hetsler
"That's inspirational."
Katie Bohlander
"The reason I’m still living in the dorm is because I'm a lesbian."
Kevin Taussig
"My parents stopped caring when I was 12."
Christine Waldersen
"They say Candace doesn't know how to click anymore."
Ryan Keller
"It's like, 'o-tay.'"
April Christiansen
"I want more books."
Bart Evans
"Don't do anything dohm."
Krista Hetsler
"Eat the cookie!"
Todd Lindquist
"So did you hear the rumor?"
Megan Jeffery
"Fine, I"ll go visit the toilet alone!"
Christine Waldersen
I've been healed."
Christine Waldersen, Stephanie Childs
"It hurts to be beautiful."
Wendy Glenn
"…dude…cause he was a surfer."
Elisa Phelps
"I love B.S."
Amanda Keim
"You went out with Trey."
Brent Bachelder
"Good luck on your triet."
Mr. Murphy
"Hey, orchestra people - Wang, etc!"
Jan Ehrhardt
"Amanda's on time!"

Sunday, February 10th - Saturday, February 16th, 2008

"We're not allowed to fart or poop; we may as well smell good." - Kendra Evans

"No, it would just die in my arms." - Christine Waldersen

"A puffin! A puffin's butt!!" - Ashlyn Bittorf

"Bruce Peterson, not Springsteen, he tells me." - Karin Hetsler

"What about the ugly ones?" - Jeremy Foster

"It's not my fault that things just end up in my crotch." - Emily Johnson

"It's Jenna's womb, too, and she was the last one in there!" - Jeremy Foster

Sunday, February 3rd - Saturday, February 9, 2008

"You're one of my favorite Americans...besides Brett Favre." - Vasi Ciobanu

"Then we get to the issue of, 'Does he have my number, and if he does, does he know how to use it?" - Amanda Keim

"If you were going to paint a picture of a psychologically disturbed person - what their insides look like - it would look like this." - Kendra Evans

"Yay! My first cool friend ever! I mean, besides you guys...dang it." - Kendra Evans

"I definitely want to date someone with a foghorn for a voice. That's really high on my priority list." - Pamela Wiens

"They'll know we're not trippin..." - Joshua Miles

"It means, 'Krista and pool.'" - Abby Klingenberg

February 2007

Lindsay Plocher
"And by everyone, I mean Conio."
Keith Botello
"I'm not giving you any artistic freedom."
Lindsay Plocher
"Did you smoke a bowl?"
Katie Stall
"I don't know…I'm pretty sure it was my chin."
Amanda Ruddy
"I feel like everyone has something in common - music…and then there's Steve."
Lindsay Plocher
"I think Eddie Murphy needs to stop dressing up like big fat black ladies."
Keith Botello
"I get enough of that at home…"
Amanda Ruddy
"I was just trying to make something round."
Jackie Day
"Yeah, I know the interns."
Trisha Botello
"I'd rather drink out of a pile of elephant poo than eat a piece of raw flesh."
Amanda Ruddy
"You look great with hair just around your mouth."
Amanda Ruddy
"I don't wanna keep my clothes on, you mothers!"
Amanda Ruddy
"Oh my God! I ate my whole sandwich!"
Lindsay Plocher
"It's one thing if you get goose bumps, but if your nipples get hard…"
Amanda Ruddy
"That's how I get the ladies."
Lindsay Plocher
"I'm going to eat you."
Lindsay Plocher
"I made her watch my video project."
Ron Mahany
"Around my waist - I won't tell my wife."
Lindsay Plocher
"It smells like cinnamon, but it tastes like peanut butter."
Amanda Ruddy
"Bitches and hoes, hoes and bitches…"
Amanda Ruddy
"You'll still have yoga, you just won't have it with us."
Amanda Ruddy
"My mom sat me down and shat on my face."
Amanda Ruddy
"My eyes are hurting me. Do you have any, like, hairspray?"
Katie Bradsher
"…the lady who fell on us…"
Amanda Ruddy
"She was in the middle of my lips, wasn't she?"
Trisha Botello
"I'm like the music therapist from Hell right now."
Danielle Brooks
"You wouldn't be talking if you were a pile of ash, or celebrating, or presenting."
Trisha Botello
"Girl, we sound good."

January 2007

Erin Blohm
"I knew a Big Papa once."
Keith Botello
"Is that your for-real run?"
Lindsay Plocher
"I'm gonna get Lee Anne to learn me how to sing."
Amanda Ruddy
"I'm so tired of having to speak my mind, because most of the time there's nothing going on in my brain."
Keith Botello
"At this point, we generally have several awkward silences."
Cathy Lee
"I'm not going to teach her anything about Nickelodeon advertising - she's going to teach me Romanian."
Amanda Ruddy
"That's my motto for life - never exert yourself."
Amanda Ruddy
"I want to be Steve BelCastro with a torn rotator cuff and do nothing."
Karin Hetsler
"I know everything - you can do it."
Amanda Ruddy
"Break Izze bottles in the basement…PS - Don't tell Conio."
Jin Soo
"I quit."
Linda
"A cat. Meow."
Jeremy Foster
"I'm not doing so well here."
Jeremy Foster
"Lindsay did a great thing tonight. She chose water."
Danielle Brooks
"I guess he's the kind of author that would say, 'The only times I'm naked are when I'm having sex and when I'm in the shower.'"
Amanda Ruddy
"I feel like you've mastered the art of detachment."
Laura
"You don't go upside down, so I'm better than you."
Karin Hetsler
"Stick her in headphones and ignore her."
Lindsay Plocher
"I went grocery shopping and got a movie - typical Friday night!'
Steve Hetsler
"To be honest, Krista, it makes me wonder about your competition."
Emily Johnson
"It wasn't awkward like penis cake awkward."
Bekah Moilanen
"I'm not sure what Friday's going to be like, but I'm sure it will involve crying and sweating."
Lindsay Plocher
"Scott, if you were a guy."
Lindsay Plocher
"Well, hot damn! I'm gonna live forever!"
Steve Hetsler
"I don't have anything to stay to you. Here's mom."
Lindsay Plocher
"Sullivan County, in all it's glory."
Steve Hetsler
"Oh, there's a Middletown, New Jersey, too."
woman at church
"It's 32, it feels like a heat wave."
Amanda Ruddy
"I played in a new key today, E. I really liked it, with the 2 sharps."
Amanda Ruddy
"After hours, we can shit AND use the computer."
Lindsay Plocher
"…talking about my vaginal farts…"

December 2006

Keith Botello
"We'll call it 'Music, Music.'"
Lindsay Plocher
"Look how cute that liquor store is."
Vasi Ciobanu
"I'm Vasi, and I’m from Estonia."
Michelle Ford
"I did. I wasn't going to say it out loud."
Conio Loretto
"I'm gonna bone it."
Amanda Ruddy
"He definitely curses."
Keith Botello
"Holidays, schmolidays! This is music therapy!"
Karin Hetsler
"You're going to pee on your windows?"
Vasi Ciobanu
"I'm not that smart, I'm just Romanian."
Amanda Ruddy
"My coolie's out!"
Lindsay Plocher
"Could you pick up a box of nails? They should be by the milk."
Conio Loretto
"I had to go start wailing, pretending I was a big black lady."
Laura
"All the depression is in your chest."
Amanda Ruddy
"I had a dream about a talking bear, but like we had a good relationship."
Christine Waldersen
"They solved world hunger."
Keith Botello
"The mouse was licking on my nuts."
Lindsay Plocher
"Isn't it eight days?"
Matthew
"You did it!"
Lindsay Plocher
"You found the tonality of McKenzie's fart?"
Conio Loretto
"I love this toolbox. I want one in every color!"
Conio Loretto
"That's your boyfriend Keith and his wife Trisha."
Mary Arbaugh
"She forgot how to sit in a chair."
Starbucks customer
"Thanks for the tamales."
Cody Brake
"You got a box!"
Anna Hetsler
"Tim really does like cheese. It brings him a lot of happiness."
April Christiansen
"Suzi's having another kid, and Krista's a slut!"
Katie Stall
"I'm using the table."
Danielle Juengel
"I met the hottest guy I've ever seen in real life. Isn't that shallow?"
Mike Yuen
"I saw that girl the other day…what girl? What?"
Alex Vailas
"What do you see me doing?"
Cold Stone guy
"That guy doesn't work here anymore."

November 2006

Laura
"When you're old, you can stick your butt in young men's faces."
Amanda Ruddy
"What's the one in D-A?"
Amanda Ruddy
"This is what Sam hears."
Amanda Ruddy
"We don't want to die in music."
Lindsay Plocher
"If it was Amanda's fly, it would probably say, 'what the fuck?'"
Amanda Ruddy
"And that's how Bekah stops."
Stacey Hensel
"We bonded over nuts…"
Conio Loretto
"Nerdy, nerdy, look who's thirty."
Amanda Ruddy
"I need a valium."
Lindsay Plocher
"I have a fully tank of gas, and I'm feeling pretty powerful about it."
NYC tour guide
"Now you know what is my motivation for coming to work."
Danielle Juengel
"But I won!"
Dave?
"George Washington slept around like you wouldn't believe."
Amanda Ruddy
"Why is he so cute? He's such an ass."
Amanda Ruddy
"For fuck's sake…"
Amanda Ruddy
"No coolies in music."
Lindsay Plocher
"Did you just tell her to take off her bra?"
Amanda Ruddy
"I like balls and you like nuts."
police officer
"Do you have a dead deer in your car?"
Amanda Ruddy
"I'll ask Stacey tomorrow…if she wants to suck my cock."
Amanda Ruddy
"I'd wipe my ass with Jamel's goal."
Laura
"Do you want to do yoga, or should we go home?"
girl on bus
"Can you smell Dante?"
Robbie Craig
"I feel like that man just took part of my soul."
Karin Hetsler
"Go to bed - no, you don't have to."
Ron Mahany
"A large percentage of these kids are ours."
Amanda Ruddy
"The people who sent Louis Armstrong to the moon…"
Lindsay Plocher
"How do I relax my genitalia?"
Vasi Ciobanu
"It sounds slightly awkward in Romanian, but it will have to do."
Amanda Ruddy
"I'm going to poo my pants one day and think about you guys."

October 2006

Chris
"Did you just give me a one-armed hug?"
Danielle Juengel
"I'm going to go eat and look at the planes."
Amanda Ruddy
"I’m getting pregnant vibes from you."
Amanda Ruddy
"Maybe it's the other life, inside you."
Matthew
"Conio, what are you doing?"
Conio Loretto
"The first thing that has to change is your primary caseload."
Judy Bunting
"I understand it's a seasonal job."
Richard
"Obviously, my mother and I had a close relationship."
Amanda Ruddy
"You guys don't have penises?"
Lindsay Plocher
"I didn't hear a single swear out of her."
Lindsay Plocher
"She always shakes her little butt, and it's so cute."
Amanda Ruddy
"I love farts."
Conio Loretto
"Wipe the dirt off your shoes. It'll give them something to do."
Lindsay Plocher
"I don't know if I want to sing a song about a bar."
Amanda Ruddy
"They made it awkward and educational, and we were like, 'fuck.'"
Danielle Brooks
"Stressed? You?"
Amanda Ruddy
"Apparently, all the kids at the center have horrible language."
Conio Loretto
"Here comes the jazz, it's coming up."
Jeffrey
"Robin, friend of Batman."
Trisha Botello
"I’m gonna channel my inner large black woman."
Lindsay Plocher
"My teeth feel like they're wearing sweaters."
Amanda Ruddy
"I'll tell you if it's sexual."
Keith Botello
"What starts with f and ends with uck? Fire truck!"
Amanda Keim
"The hospital doesn't count."
Jeremy Foster
"You have fellowship! You've got the F-bomb!"
Keith Botello
"I just have to keep reminding myslef I'm being paid for every minute."
Lindsay Plocher
"I love the 60-calorie thing, as if I'd feel guilty otherwise."
Michelle Ford
"You have a lot to look forward to in your organized life."
Michelle Ford
"We'll see what we see - ooh! Pirate bags!"
Lindsay Plocher
"And Smallville will be on tv and so will Grey's Anatomy, that's where you'll find me and Krista and Amanda."
Ashley Schriefer
"I feel so popular."

Sunday, January 27th - Saturday, February 2, 2008

"That would be my second quote-of-the-day about crotches." - Emily Johnson

"I can have a conversation with myself. I remember how to do that." - Danielle Juengel

"You really are a holly person." - Razvan Dobre

"Kri...sorry...KRISTA!!" - Ben

"If I sounded sad, I just burped." - Nichole Woelfl

"He was probably in the phonics club, as a poster child for phonics." - Katie Stall

"You're making eyes at the person next to you, because you're just lonely, and you thought this might be your lucky day. Good luck." - Dennis Hayes

November 2000

Christine Waldersen
"I already told my mom I was going to get a ticket; I might as well…oh, shit."
Lucia Idarraga
"Whiskey!"
Silpa Sarma
"There had fuckin better be lipstick in there."
Grant Fishburn
"I don't like shots."
Angie Cluff
"Granted, we're idiots."
Ralph Crabtree
"It's Rumpelstiltsken waking up."
Tara
"College Students Guide to Making Alcoholic Beverages"
Steven Brydle
"They didn't tell us that in preschool."
April Christiansen
"I hate having big things in my mouth. I could never give someone a blow job."
Christine Waldersen
"She's an annoying character. I'd take her out of my book."
Christine Waldersen
"She's got a big back."
April Christiansen
"I had sex and I'm pregnant."
Ed Eberle
"She's crazy."
April Christiansen
"We're going to take over like grasshoppers."
Father someone
"Where's Heather? Oh, she's in the parking lot."
Michael Wang
"Tiffany Phipps is a stripper?"
Tyler Lindstrom
"Brent is my homosexual friend."
Brent Bachelder
"…would your right one be the right one, or would it just be the one?"
Brent Bachelder
"I'm just a girl…"
Ralph Crabtree
"You don't like women being surgeons? Why, you sexist pig, you."
Lucia Idarraga
"Great night because was when the baby Jesus was born…not kidding!"
Trey DeCamp
"Everyone whips it out when they go to the bathroom."
Karin Hetsler
"I think Krista needs to move her buns."
Jessie Smith
"It smells like burnt balls!"
waitress at Fridays
"It does."
Hannah Shangraw
"I don't think I can make it."
Tara Donovan
"I like children for illicit use."
Brent Bachelder
"I go to bed hard and wake up hard."
Kathy Williams
"Jordan, you piece of dog."
Ali Heller
"Let me live in my little bubble."

October 2000

April Christiansen
"Can't they do both? Hang me and then shoot me?"
Lindsey Gamard
"He's a poncho kinda guy."
Eric Martin
"He looked like a big old condom standing up there."
Christine Waldersen
"Did you guys bring your sleeping bags?"
Megan Jeffery
"His pose was sissified."
John Lindstrom
"But she has boobs!"
Brent Bachelder
"I'm gonna hump you. I only have boxers on!"
Bethany Lindstrom
"She's really skinny and she has big boobs so it kinda fits."
April Christiansen
"Who are these people?...oh, thy're girls?!"
Kathy Williams
"That's a prairie dog?"
Stephanie Childs
"But He came in tune."
woman in van
"They're too busy looking at you."
Jessie Smith
"Oh yeah, Christine, your dad died."
Grant Fishburn
"Sorry, wife."
Jessie Smith
"I'm so funny. I crack myself up."
April Christiansen
"I give up."
Ed Eberle
"Are they hermaphroditic? Do they like dogs?"
Kevin Northrup
"He's playing with the old man penises."
Brent Bachelder
"It's been a long day."
Amanda Keim
"Tell me about it."
Grant Fishburn
"I don't know where the ant graveyard is."
Zach's ticket stub
"Remember the Tit."
Care Devinney
"That's a girl?"
Alyssa Shangraw
"I approve of your outfit."
April Christiansen
"Who is Dara Garhart?"
Jan Ehrhardt
"Too much birthday?"
Ashley Emmons
"What would I rather do? Sit on a boat or go get drunk?"
Matthew Ingebrigtsen
"I'm going to wet myself."
Len Ingebrigtsen
"Oh…Sarah."
Jana Thomas
"Remember the brain-sucker?"
Casey Smith
"You'd be surprised."

August 2002

Kaila Epperly
"Then I have to hear about Matt the whole time."
Karin Hetsler
"I thought I was the only loser in the house."
Jim Martinez
"I couldn't get it up."
April Christiansen
"I love God. He's so awesome. Good job, buddy!"
James
"I don't make monkeys, baby. I just run 'em."
Stephanie Childs
"The jacuzzi has issues."
James
"Ryan's stupid last day head."
Kaila Epperly
"Mr. Rogers said he likes my insides."
Katy McLeod
"They actually named a dorm, 'poverty?'"
Chet at Ed Debevic's
"That's the cool table. I'll sit at the nerd table."
Suzi Shedden
"Alyssa, you're a girl!"
Jim Martinez
"You've gotta get between his legs."
Ashley Emmons
"He just needs to get some."
Dale
"I'm not talking, Krista!"
Peter Emmons
"Jim's behind schedule, isn't he?"
Patsy
"Patty cake, patty cake, as fast as you can. Put it in the oven, and pose in the mirror."
Tamra Ingebrigtsen
"It must be hard to look in the mirror, then."
April Christiansen
"Don't let him go with you. He'll only bring you down."
Bart Evans
"Even old men with bad asthmatic lungs sing like that."
Christine Waldersen
"It's funny because they sell food AND drink!"
Courtney Romley
"My ceiling?"
Katie Stall
"I have pretty nice handwriting, but I don't have any friends."
drunk Jimmy at Sonora
"My name is Jimmy. And what is your name? Oh, that's a very pretty name."
Katie Stall
"Then again, I'm a prude."
guy on C2
"That girl was hot - the one who got naked. You missed out."
Aaron from C2
"Get a school bus. We're all going!"
Jeff Davis
"So that's like conducting. Except for the pregnancy part."
Mike Y
"They probably live in your dorm."
Emily Williams
"Family will be there forever, but dogs…dogs die."
Heather Ashby
"What really bothers me is this no right turn."
April Christiansen
"Here's a plant to grow with. But if it dies, don't be sad. Just throw it away. There will be other plants."

Sunday, January 20th - Saturday, January 26th, 2008

"In Amos, he was handing out woes like they were candy." - Kendra Evans

"It reminds me of when I used to make letters." - Danielle Juengel

"I met my in-laws." - Christine Waldersen

"They don't know a lot." - Karin Hetsler

"I wrote a paper about oral sex. What the heck?" - Kendra Evans

"We are part of the elect in terms of Taboo." - Derek Robinson

"Thinking about a guy even thinking about a girl's period is weird, period." - Kelly Byke

July 2002

Amanda Rogers
"Didn't you know there's a Tungland in Mexico? That's where we're taking you."
Steve Hetsler
"The color of the universe is brown."
April Christiansen
"You know what I found out? It's a good school."
Jim Martinez, Romley girls
"Strip Monopoly?"
Jon Jakucki
"Hold your horses. If you don't have horses, hold your ass."
Allison Veeh
"I just wanna taste someone's berry."
Diana Capozzi
"It would be so much easier if it could talk."
Allison Veeh
"My annoying tadpole was back today. I didn't miss him."
Kaila Epperly
"I love this ceiling."
Ashley Emmons
"He might have had some non-virgins, too."
Aileen Lo
"So did my mom!"
Carlo Guerro
"Krista, Dale wants me to ask you to take him on a walk up to the ceiling."
April Christiansen
"Was it a war? Yes. Oh. I'm sorry I said it was cool."
Karin Hetsler
"He hung out with the losers."
Jim Martinez
"If I was two girls…"
Katy McLeod
"I'm a man? Oh, no! I thought I was pretty."
Ashley Emmons
"Oo Oo Ee Ee."
Joy Richard
"Oh, are you on your period?"
Allison Veeh
"My animals don't make out."
Jayme Lopez
"I'm sorry I poked you in the boob."
Ryan Sakata
"Tickled Pink."
Ashley Emmons
"I don't want to touch myself."
Mike Cruz
"Something about my groin."
Matt Davis
"He's humping me!"
Erin Searle
"She's gonna have sex."
Erin Searle
"If my chest looks big, it's because it is. There's a paper plate in there."
Justin Searle
"It was sweatier than…lots of sweaty things!"
Hannah Shangraw
"I have a naked lady on my arm."
Kevin Northrup
*Kevin got the quote but I didn't write it down*
Kaila Epperly
"It's not doing anything for me."
Joy Richard
"We need some staff in here."

June 2002

6/1/2002
Jane Emmons
"They're busy revisiting their childhood."
6/2/2002
Ashley Emmons
"Digging for quotes never works."
6/3/2002
Chi-Chi Hseih
"I think Ali's the saluditorian."
6/4/2002
Jon Jakucki
"I was thinking about hanging out in front of your house."
6/5/2002
Jordan Pendergrass
"It's against everything I believe in."
6/6/2002
Megan Jeffery
"Chris, Tyler, Chris, Tyler…"
6/7/2002
Megan Jeffery
"Stop talking about nuts!"
6/8/2002
Katie Stall
"We just invited a pedafile to Vacation Bible School."
6/9/2002
Heather Ashby
"Mom, Dad's fired!"
6/10/2002
Ashley Emmons
"Is she gonna puke?"
6/11/2002
Brittney
"You're mean, Tia!"
6/12/2002
Heather Ashby
"We need to see this one!"
6/13/2002
Heather Ashby
"Ashley, are you and Adam making out?'
6/14/2002
Elisa Phelps
"What, do you like, lick your friends?"
6/15/2002
Christine Waldersen
"We're bowling right now."
6/16/2002
Bethany Lindstrom
"We don't want another climax."
6/17/2002
Karin Hetsler
"That's its heart going pitter-pat."
6/18/2002
Todd Lindquist
"Soft, filthy, and feminine. Might as well be a personal ad."
6/19/2002
Ashley Emmons
"I'll see you SOON, Krista."
6/20/2002
Amanda Keim
"Lesbian point!"
6/21/2002
Jason
"They're both naked."
6/22/2002
Stephanie Childs
"Me and my tv are gonna go like cry."
6/23/2002
Ashley Emmons
"What's happiness to you?"
6/24/2002
Ashley Emmons
"Don't let anything get caught."
6/25/2002
Adam Cronenberg
"I got stood up by Katherine Jennings' mom tonight."
6/26/2002
Ashley Emmons
"Come on, you barked like a dog in that water; you can do a somersault."
6/27/2002
Ashley Emmons
"Your mom loves me!"
6/28/2002
Trey DeCamp
"Let's hope these brakes work. They're smoking."
6/29/2002
Courtney Romley
"It's an older Disney movie with humans in it."
6/30/2002
Tom Wick
"Cat. Kitty."

May 2002

5/1/2002
Darci Earhart
"People are insane."
5/2/2002
Erin Romley
""Where the hell are my gonads?"
5/3/2002
Coutney Romley
"I love Sax! Sax, not sex."
5/4/2002
Allison Veeh
"No one can ever know about this conversation."
5/5/2002
Ryan Sakata
"That's my secret."
5/6/2002
Jennifer Knapp
"I reached out and touched it. You're not supposed to do that."
5/7/2002
Cindy Jennings
"Will you do Mr. Gherman?"
5/8/2002
Angie Cluff
"Call Mr. Evans undependable…"
5/9/2002
Jordan Pendergrass
"She was born. That had a great impact on her life."
5/10/2002
Adam Cronenberg
"A butter knife, even."
5/11/2002
Darci Earhart
"I'm that annoying girl who sniffs."
5/12/2002
Brian Brake
"Just find a 30-year-old who's already settled."
5/13/2002
Stephanie Childs
"He's stalking me…ok, or he lives there."
5/14/2002
Sarah Shipley
"Did it look like she was breastfeeding a rose?"
5/15/2002
April Christiansen
"I like it that I'm still a virgin and I've had a lot of sex."
5/16/2002
Andrea Morgan
"I lost my mama."
5/17/2002
Joe Morin
"Mr. Evans, we have just declared that you are very good-looking."
5/18/2002
Andrea Morgan
"Who would shag their goddaughter?"
5/19/2002
Peter Emmons
"Do you know how to play this game?"
5/20/2002
Andrea Morgan
"It's so cold in here my goosebumps have goosebumps."
5/21/2002
Kellie Britt
"What does that building do?"
5/22/2002
Ryan from St. Tim's
"I damned him to Hell."
5/23/2002
John Lindstrom
"Oh, they had sex?"
5/24/2002
Adam Cronenberg
"I'd kiss him if he fell in my lap."
5/25/2002
Megan Jeffery
"April gets around, just like her mom."
5/26/2002
Julia Scinto
"I want to get him out of bed."
5/27/2002
Ashley Emmons
"This is where all the bitches live."
5/28/2002
Matt Stout
"You've passed your friend quota. You're not allowed to make any new friends."
5/29/2002
Glen Farnsworth
"I caused them to cease the milking of their cows."
5/30/2002
Allison Veeh
"If you're half as good a person as you are a piano-player…"
5/31/2002
Ashley Emmons
"Tell me if you see anything you want. Some boobs?"

October 2001

Megan Jeffery
"And we know where your jerk will be."
Bart Evans
"Better hope she shows. You don't want a bunch of hungry Christians on your hands."
Kagen Croswhite
"Do you wanna know something else about sneezes?"
Suzi Shedden
"Old people are allowed to be gay? I didn't know old people even knew about gay."
Sarah Shipley
"A naked cousin? Was he cute?"
Katie Stall
"We'll join you in a minute, don't worry."
Christine Waldersen
"not drawing attention…"
Christine Waldersen
"Don't mind me…"
Bart Evans
"Constipate the…"
Kevin Northrup
"I'm a hobo!"
Ann Shangraw
"What kind of treats are you going to bring?"
Deb Bachelder
"You're my date!"
Erica
"Joey's like, 'I'll give you a cookie…'"
Tyler Lindstrom
"Cause everybody wants to talk about sex at the dinner table. It's very appetizing."
Sean Gilyeat
"Do you hate me that much?"
Christine Waldersen
"I might, but I don't want YOU to be there."
Keelan Ostrand
"Why do you have the key to a BMW?"
Alyssa Shangraw
"That's Anna's monkey."
Alyssa Shangraw
"What are you, like, backwards?"
waitress
"I just thought it was funny."
Jen Bachelder
"Jen's a whore?"
April Christiansen
"I don't like people."
Christine Waldersen
"You are welcome…"
Khandle
"Since January? That's too long. Why don't they break up?"
Jon Jacucki
"Boycott shampoo. Demand REAL poo!"
Karin Hetsler
"18's not good for you."
Matt Thiesen
"I don't know your cousins."
Tom Wick
"You kiss with your lips!"
Chris Farabee
"You don't ned a permission slip if you're going to sleep through it."
Torri Newman
"I play for zee Diamondbacks."
Kellie Britt
"So we're not doing words but we are doing text?"

September 2001

Suzi Shedden
"I'm the queen of bitch."
Brittany Meddings
"Heaven is eternal suffering."
Margie Ingebrigtsen
"My mother used to say, 'twinkle with the boys.' Do you twinkle?"
Mike McClellan
"Get your greasy burger and some dope."
April Christiansen
"Why don't you have a penis?"
Melissa Dey
"You ate your imaginary sister?"
Megan Jeffery
"They pay you to donate sperm, and that doesn't hurt. That feels good!"
Katie Stall
"We had to like, rate our friends. Don't worry, you guys did good."
Hannah Shangraw
"I'm so fat."
Keelan Ostrand
"You are kind of a dork, aren't you, Mr. McConnell?"
Ashley Emmons
"Windows?"
Christine Waldersen
"J.R. parking lot."
John Lindstrom
"They're probably making out."
Suzi Shedden
"Why are you looking at people's bras, underwear boy?"
Alyssa Shangraw
"Can I hug you?"
Larry the Cucumber
"It's ok to eat vegetables if they don't talk."
Suzi Shedden
"He thinks we're hot."
Michael McConnell
"No F-bombs."
Katie Stall
"Yes, by 10 guys. I haven't decided who I'm going with yet."
Elisa Phelps
"I, Elisa Phelps, am the whore of Babylon."
Katrina Ingebrigtsen
"She'll just go again!"
Margie Ingebrigtsen
"Are they whooping it up?"
Sean Johnson
"I lose my balls all the time; they always fall off."
Christine Waldersen
"Which one's Joey?"
Jared Klundt
"So, it's not just that he enjoys the company of men, it's that he's flaming?"
Christine Waldersen
"I'm stealing your wallet."
Suzi Shedden
"Stick your cup under my hole and I'll give you some ice."
Jim Martinez
"Can't you just put a cookie in there to make it hard? Or does that only work one way?"
Wendy Ingebrigtsen
"It's like she doesn't live with you."
April Christiansen
"Noone's seen her Lord."

August 2001

April Christiansen
"Who's the little one? Is that your child?"
Christine Waldersen
"Place the wine bottle in the rack."
Sarah Shipley
"Do the red straws look suspicious?"
Christine Waldersen
"Now tuck and roll!"
Brent Bachelder
"Your looks more like a penis than mine does."
Danielle Jeffery
"If someone were to sleep with us…"
Ashley Emmons
"I'll just touch myself."
Christine Waldersen
"Joel, we saved that seat over there for you."
April Christiansen
"We should go to the disco!"
Elyse Margardino
"Hi, this is A-sss-pril, is Elyse there?"
Megan Jeffery
"Can I put it in your pants?"
Megan Jeffery
"You could have a baby to time it."
Alyssa Shangraw
"You don't pee on the phone?"
Tyler Lindstrom
"If I was a girl I would have to jump on me."
April Christiansen
"I really respect people who like rivers."
Billy Smith
"Are you gonna spank her?"
Suzi Shedden
"Bouncing around naked in the living room..oh, shit!"
Megan Jeffery
"Too sexy for my loin cloth."
Brenda Johnson
"I have a mouth full of nuts."
Bart Evans
"I'm hearing more and more no fear."
Bart Evans
"It's just a belt, get over it."
Bart Evans
"We still have to add all the girls on top."
Mr. McConnell
"What do you think this is, America? This is Iraq."
Diana Capozzi
"I would have sex with that."
Kevin Carlisle
"She really means it."
Alyssa Shangraw
"So you raised a dick?'
Mike McClellan
"This is not a sing-along!"
Christine Waldersen
"His last name's Smith!"
Chris Farabee
"Only awesome people love genitals, is that what you're trying to say?"
Monika Sandberg
"Isn't that your boyfriend's favorite song?"
Megan Jeffery
"Is this the guy you bite?"

January 2003

Kelli Wilcox
"She's 12 so he can't live with her."
Alyssa Shangraw
"She's laying her foot down."
Megan Jeffery
"You hate girls, don't you?"
Karin Hetsler
"I've taught you great manners, haven't I?"
Katie Stall
"Suspicious vehicle cleared."
Amira
"Why'd she become a teacher?"
Jake Hantla
"Poop!"
Ashley Emmons
"How do you cook snails?"
Nate Perkins
"I don't even know what a toaster is."
Julie Jensen
"I want to know which pajamas to wear - sexy or cozy."
Tom
"I knew she was using me to ride my horse."
Matt Dodd
"I thought you were trying to get us to say 'penis.'"
Megan Jeffery
"She heard it through the Lu Line."
Matt Dodd
"I stopped listening."
Matt Dodd
"God has blessed me with x-ray vision."
Nate Perkins
"I have needs!"
Katie Kerr
"I think it's because she really is going to kill you."
Anne Marie Davee
"Everyone has their faults."
Janessa Moreno
"A baby seal walked into a club. Ouch."
Steve Wood
"Hello, knob."
Felicia Simmons
"Wasn't it in 42?"
Beth Ruscello
"They aren't my naked boys, I swear."
Megan Wesolowski and Danielle Juengel
"It's a robot."
Katie Stall
"It's a sick 'come here I'll give you candy' smile."
Beth Ruscello
"He's Michelle's boyfriend, and he knits."
Danielle Juengel
"Russians are expensive."
Nate Perkins
"Brad, I want you to take the drum pad and run."
Linda Ruelman
"Alright, we've had sex. Now go back to where you came from."
Karin Hetsler
"So we're the black eye class and the hairy class."
Amy Parks
"I'm reading your boob."
Katie Stall
"So that's where the loud noise comes from, basically."

December 2002

Katie Stall
"I would never date him, unless he wanted to."
terrier on computer
"I'm scaring you."
Jeremy Foster
"We're having a closing ceremony."
Madeline Wiliamson
"You're trying to be expressive…"
Tessa Thompson
"I guess I kind of grew up in a burping home."
Stephanie
"A chip just fell out of my straw."
Scott Morris
"Don't pinch the inner thigh!"
Tom Schraeder
"Mentadent saved our lives."
Kevin
"I really don't enjoy nature."
Matt Dodd
"Andro, lick my face!"
Kelli Wilcox
"I'm gonna blow-dry my shirt."
Kelli Wilcox
"We've been laughing at everyone else tonight, might as well laugh at ourselves."
guy I delivered something to
"You are a very cool human being."
Tessa Thompson
"You can walk from here."
Gabe
"Cassidy said you were a big fat Greek wedding."
Erin Blohm
"I'm out like a fat kid in dodgeball."
Alyssa Shangraw
"You're being an antsy-pants."
Megan Jeffery
"I think that guy thinks your smile is the sun."
Katie Schaefer
"You can't double-bus!"
Erica Wertz
"You're gonna come back, and you're gonna be blind, and it's gonna be really really irritating."
Laura
"I have good hair. You can take it from me."
April Christiansen
"It's a Christian mountain."
Alyssa Shangraw
"You never told me it was more fun sober."
Steve Hetsler
"I'm gonna watch Seinfeld, eat chipds, and read my almanac."
Matthew Ingebrigtsen
"Never wear a paper dress in the rain."
Danielle Jeffery
"Your brother's too effeminate to have guy friends."
Danielle Jeffery
"I call that a 'whoops!'"
Katie Stall
"Bonus points if someone accepts Christ?"
Nate Perkins
"Get on top of me!"
John Eldredge
"Jeremiah 2:23."
Tom Crnjac
"If I didn't know those were all Christians, I'd say half of them were on crack."

November 2002

Kelli Wilcox
"Tom and I are fake-dating!"
Ann Shangraw
"It's my birthday!"
Jeremy Foster
"Our car can only go as fast as an old person can walk."
Christine Waldersen
"I want to die on my birthday."
Cassidy Thompson
"I didn't mean to 'blah, blah, blah' Jesus rising from the dead."
April Christiansen
"Leviticus, chapter 11, verses 7 and 8 clearly prohibit you from consuming ham at small group!"
Katie Blohm
"Did you find five dollars?"
Beth Ruscello
"I had just given up impulsive buying for lent."
David Creech
"We, the men of Campus Crusade, must keep the flame of chivalry alive."
Brock Nelson
"You miss Zach, don't you?"
Matt Dodd
"He's drinking apple juice, you know. Foamy apple juice."
Jeremy Foster
"If you show your nipples to someone, you show them to that one person, but if you show your nipples to a camera, you show them to everyone."
Heather Ashby
"But he's the important one!"
Scott Morris
"Why is Scott a monster?"
Brian Putney
"Looks like the roommates screwed up."
Jim Martinez
"I don't need any more embarassing quotes."
Nate Perkins
"Say, 'I will not make out with Krista at all!"
Nate Perkins
"Good luck on YOUR math test."
Kelli Wilcox
"Eat it, or it goes up your nose."
Ashley Perea
"School's kickin my butt."
Brock Nelson
"Sexual purity? We're done with that?"
Katie Stall
"Home to your home home?"
Nate Perkins
"What about your passion for Nate?"
Jeremy Foster
"When I think about cows, I think about how I want skim milk to flow from my nipples."
Ryan Olmstead
"Play the hand drum!"
Jeremy Foster
"All I can see is your crotch area, but I like what I see."
Ashley Emmons
"People ask me how to spell things!"
Matthew Ingebrigtsen
"Because we're cows, and we have more than one stomach."
April Christiansen
"I did the same thing with Michelle."
David Vandereit
"I don't think I've ever been given the up-down before."

October 2002

Matt Dodd
"If there was a cow that looked and tasted like an apple but walked around and had legs and a head, would you eat it? You could kill it first."
Sarah Gemmill
"How can you step on this woman anyway? Come on, she's got strong arms."
Katie Stall
"Crusade?...uh, backwards Crusade?"
Olivia
"Mom, are you stuck?"
John Sehorn
"This DP is really good, but you're not funny."
Matt Dodd
"Get out of the street, ladies!"
Blake Smith
"Your feet are going to be huge…you're never going to get a guy like that."
Tracey Carlin
"It's my mother's fault for smoking when I was pregnant."
Christine Waldersen
"I was talking to my grandma on Instant Messenger
TJ Garza
"35, 33, and 32…that adds up to 100."
Tom Crnjac
"I don't even know how to spell fetus."
Hannah Shangraw
"I'm more zonked than you are zonked."
Nate Perkins
"As long as Brad Pitt's not on there."
Greg
"You just keep saying that until you pass out."
Matt Dodd
"Break out the sewing machine!"
Scott Morris
"Maybe we should go back in the dark."
TJ Garza
"Get Naked for free, on me."
Beth Ruscello
"Uncle Tony is."
Katie Stall
"I love that poster on many levels."
Walter Crutchfield
"I might have a little speck in my eye, but baby, you've got a redwood."
Katie Stall
"That's not as scary as the visions I see when I'm high."
Matt Dodd
"No, I think I just have gas."
Kelli Wilcox
"There's 50 girls at school, too, and you don't want to go there."
TJ Garza
"I don't want the soundtrack of my life to be 2nd-graders playing recorders."
Ashley Emmons
"It is really hard to buy a movie ticket."
Matt Dodd
"Maybe we should just go out."
Walter Crutchfield
"It's always easier for us to sin when they're cute."
Katie Stall
"I didn't 'aww' you!"
Matt Dodd
"Wait…chicken has cow in it!"
Carol
"That's why we smell like food."
Nate Preston
"The story's over, cause Nate's stuck."

November 2004

Cameron Fine
"What's this? This is beautiful!"
Keaton
"Keaton's Queen!"
Jenni Ensign
"Focus, Krista, focus!"
Jen Kidman
"Frogs did, too!"
Tracey Carlin
"What's the deal with your face?"
Joel Thompson
"Cass is the girl all my songs are about, but shh, don't tell her."
Sidney Maxwell
"Pray for my family, and for blankie."
Tracey Carlin
"Why in God's green earth do I know where his pants are?"
Amanda Keim
"My crotch now represents all the STDs at ASU."
Amber Souto
"Oh! Have to vacuum! Oh! Have to vacuum!"
Nathan
"It has a seductive fish. Go see it before you let your kids see it."
Chad
"You know that pigeon's going to die on one of those chips."
Danielle Juengel
"I'm not satisfied with the texture and consistency of this popcorn. May I trade it for some nachos?"
Scott Maxwell
"That one's swinging through the trees, I didn't come from that one."
Glen
"This is a unit. I've had this unit a long time."
Amy
"I have the hotness, and I can't stand this heat."
Amber Souto
"Some country song just had some words."
Katie Stall
"She's nice, though. Before we knew about the dead babies."
Bre Harwood
"She threw her monkey in the boat!"
Tarrah Martinez
"What can I do to make you more comfortable?"
Scott Maxwell
"Josh, you're fired."
Desiree DeBord
"Kiss it and make it better."
Karin Hetsler
"Go study, then get to bed and take your drugs."
Jenni Ensign
"She says that, but we have ice cream in the freezer."
Steve Hetsler
"Remember your man you were so nice to?"
Chloe Brake
"Potato."
Anna Hetsler
"It's not tingly, like Mommy's yogurt."
Desiree DeBord
"I think he used to be a rebel."
Beth Ruscello
Girls don't poop!"
Sandra Stauffer
"If you made no mistakes, you would be angels in heaven, and I wouldn't get to know you, and that would be very sad."

October 2004

Nate Perkins
"I'm on fire, and I'm so overwhelmed."
Katie Stall
"I'm so glad you're for Bush."
Scott Maxwell
"This guy's thinking, 'I'm dead! I'm dead!'"
Barbara Crowe
"Then they become dangerous, and then evil."
Desiree DeBord
"If you had told us we were in fourth grade, I might have acted a little more mature."
Mike Jenks
"I love a Jewish boy."
Amy
"I messed up the whole game. Holy guacamole!"
Tracey Carlin
"We've decided that having an orgasm helps with cramps."
Elina
"Squeeze him so tight that he will never live again."
Gabriel Ingebrigtsen
"She's very soft."
Tracey Carlin
"I don't talk about that class very much, except when we play sexual intercourse."
Karin Hetsler
"They don't know what that is."
Danielle Juengel
"Hello Michael Crow. I’m Danielle Juengel."
Keaton
"Krista and Keaton say, 'Hi.'"
Katie Stall
"I hate bra-wearing."
Tessa Thompson
"Is she married?"
Danielle Juengel
"God may have a good reason for Kerry to be president…like starting the book of Revelations."
Leah Koch
"We've been women, too."
Tracy
"Do you want me to get bigger?"
Danielle Juengel
"I think this lady loves me!"
Tim Russell
"I like kind of the trashy type of novel."
Mike Jenks
"That was my pancreas."
Jim Martinez
"I should organize my movies by which ones would make you cry."
Christine Waldersen
"Hi, cutie!"
Tracey Carlin
"I'm so attracted to them right now."
Keith
"You have such beautiful ears."
Leah Koch
"Punch me. I'm lonely."
Cassidy Thompson
"I don't really like getting jiggy, per say."
Daniel Zehring
"We can stand alone as euthanasia."
Katie Stall
"I used to beat up boys a lot."
Katie Stall
"Why are there worms coming out of you? Please go remove them."

September 2004

Garrett Shimata
"No, my brother's a good Asian."
Beth Ruscello
"He played a cactus!"
Barbara Crowe
"You can pretty much throw a dart and hit an autistic child in the clinic."
Beth Ruscello
"All Asians like Mandarin oranges."
Sidney Maxwell
"Today's not Maxwell day."
Leah Koch
"I learned to read on the toilet."
Amber Souto
"I've always had flat friends!"
Peggy Reid
"This isn't her coming-out lunch."
Cassidy Thompson
"I'd like to think I have the kind of belly button people would want to touch."
Tracey Carlin
"It's still going!"
Jeremy Foster
"Everyone here is staying, and we're all saved."
Scott Maxwell
"I'm going to throw it all up for you to see."
Marie
"Bullshit."
Amanda Keim
"It kind of reminded me of Splash Mountain, where you're going up, and the animals are singing very sadly."
Leah Koch
"Leave the herpes alone."
Cameron Fine
"My words are just limited - my mind is so small."
Lindsay Ruscello
"I promise not to fall in love with Bob."
Katie Stall
"Psycho!"
Mark Rentz
"It's a slow train to Quo Vadis."
Holly
"Skip to the bathroom?"
Beth Ruscello
"People say I cheat, but it's really a learning disorder."
Ashley Schreifer
"Excuse me, but there's no sleeping allowed."
Nanette Engle
"Do you think my tree looks funny?"
Garritt
"You be back tomorrow, Krista?"
John at Coffee Talk
"You won't even tell me your names? I'm John. I'm an addict!"
Karin Hetsler
"Think of a live bird on the sidewalk."
Rodney Rogers
"Not all melodys occur in the soprano, do they? No, they do not."
Amy
"Can junebugs drive this van? Junebugs only fly!"
Kathy Douglas
"I wouldn't trust Jason with a ten-foot pole."
Matt Dodd
"Pretend you were pastor, and were at your house, and Jeremy just spoke blasphemy."

August 2004

Jacob Hantla
"He doesn't call me Dad, he calls me Daddy."
Beth Ruscello
"I thought Krista was accusing Mike of jumping on counters."
Leah Koch
"We got strawberry-flavored Windex!"
Tracey Carlin
"David told me he was going to take his dick out and slap it across my face. I told him I would yank it."
Matt Dodd
"Did you just say, 'up your butt?' This is Bible study! I didn't think we said things like 'up your butt' at Bible study."
Christine Waldersen
"Do you know what gate is the best? C13."
Christine Waldersen
"Should I turn around?"
Francis Chan
"We're the real ones."
Dale
"Who watched Dale on the toilet?"
Erin Blohm
"The stork finally brought that baby."
Kirsten McBride
"Let's go, you…kids, let's go!"
Tylor
"If you kiss someone on the lips that's not in your family, then you get arrested…don't you know anything about romance?"
George Finnigan
"If he was really my friend, he'd understand."
Stephanie Childs
"My mom said Friday's child is full of shit."
Kendra Evans
"I'm dirt."
Tylor
"I won't call you dumb if you won't call me dumb. Is it a deal?"
Keith
"Do you have diahrrea sometimes?"
Tylor
"I do not pick my nose! Well, I don't eat them! I'm trying to quit!"
Jeremy Foster
"We're having a church-wide poo party?"
Beth Ruscello
"My cat would only come when called if we whistled Sound of Music out of tune."
lifeguard at Chandler Aquatic Center
"You're going to have to take your shirt off."
Scott Maxwell
"The cult has their doctrinal statement. We should have ours."
Beth Ruscello
"Seriously, what's the market for Hercules singers?"
Amy
"You took both your shoes off. That stinks, Keauna."
Amber Souto
"Hi, puddy tat. I can call you that - it's not pussy."
Monique Brummett
"When they say, 'hit on her,' they don't mean literally."
Joel Thompson
"Eight!"
Kendra Evans
"We're the dream team!"
Tracey Carlin
"Give me a minute!"
Beth Ruscello
"He just seems dumb. He has to either be a boy or a model."
Keith
"I was at recess, and was talking about Hocus Pocus and all the things in Rocky Point…"

July 2004

Steve Hetsler
"If you can read this, you're lost."
Katie Stall
"Ugly, old, white-haired men!"
Tracey Carlin
"He looks remarkably like Adolf Hitler with Down Syndrome."
Amber Souto
"You just need a stud. I already have a stud."
Danielle Juengel
"I was talking to myself. Do you ever do that?"
Carol Childs
"You could be the color of dirt!"
Matt
"Krista, are you on the ASU football team?"
Matt Dodd
"Do you miss it, Jake? I miss it sometimes. But that's why we have each other."
Keaton
"Piggyback ride?"
Jason Carlin
"My feet are small and wide and good for birthing."
Erin Blohm
"Isn't he dead to a lot of people, considering he died?"
Garritt
"Burst into flames day! Burst into flames day!"
Danielle Juengel
"They make dreams come true, she does."
Matt
"At ten o-clock, it was raining cats and dogs."
John Shirk
"Krista, you're just bad at Life."
Wendy Slijk
"I hate them and that's a problem. They love me."
Patty Slijk
"Why does he have to wiggle?"
Amber Souto
"I don't want it to overflow."
Matt
"Just what I needed! More kids!"
Danielle Juengel
"You know how the Democrats get the Mexicans? I'm going to get the Mexicans."
Garritt
"Break into the building, have a look around?"
Andrea Morgan
"What are they called? Not pioneers…prisoners? Pilgrims!"
Brent
"My dinosaur needs Risperdal!"
Danielle Juengel
"What do we do now? Take off our clothes?"
Danielle Juengel
"Now we're leaving the Hyatt. I liked staying here, did you?"
Megan Jeffery
"I'm trying to think who else we can talk about."
Tylor
"I make good pictures."
Heather Ashby
"That WAS a good u-turn, thank you very much."
Allison Jones
"It's heroin. The alphabet is his heroin."
Amy
"I need my period today!"
Kristen McBride
"Go now so your friends remember that you came."

June 2004

Tylor
"That's because I was mistaken."
Matt
"You don't get any money, because you were bad."
Andrew
"Then if the husband's too lazy to go up there, then what happens?"
Matt
"Next time it's going to be Keith asking for Keaton!"
Amanda Keim
"Oh, I was telling you about Paul pooping in bags. That was it."
Tracey Carlin
"I just like that I can say a princess told me I was the shit."
Christine Waldersen
"So, are you going on any vacations in August?"
Karin Hetsler
"You have such a strange job."
Mike Cruz
"Andrew, please behave on your birthday. Your pal, Mike."
Matt Dodd
"What a diverse small group! White people AND invisible people!"
Arnold Waldersen
"All the gambling's here in back. Bring your purse with you!"
Matt Dodd
"I cheated on my cousin with a dog!"
Karin Hetsler
"Now, it would be bad to have your kids take their shirts off."
Tylor
"All the girls will stay in prison until eternity."
Sue Chianese
"Maybe they have a club. You know, a man-boy club."
Danielle Juengel
"It came upon me like a midnight clear."
Matt Dodd
"We all think about Jeremy, George."
Bre Harwood
"I tried to get John to take a shower with me, but it didn't work. I even tried the water conservation thing, you know, but…"
Karin Hetsler
"I'm already on g."
Scott Maxwell
"You give a woman a flower; you give a man a donut."
Mike Cruz
"Take my money and get out of here! I'm like your dad."
Nate Perkins
"She's wet with lust for 18-year-old boys."
Bethany Lindstrom
"It doesn't come from a spicket, does it?"
Garritt
"Kristen having a baby soon?"
Tylor
"Golfing is good for the mind."
Karin Hetsler
"Yes. It was the angry man."
Steve Hetsler
"Quickly, she's gonna blow any second."
woman in Zion restroom
"Shake them off, then wipe them on your pants. That's the camping way!"
Anna Hetsler
"That's mean to the dalmations. What's wrong with their spots?
man in Zion lodge
"Who the hell is he?"

May 2004

Alex Vailas
"Dave is actually a girl."
Dave Haveman
"I only peed once, but it was for like 20 minutes."
Katie Stall
"I told myself, 'It's ok that you're talking to yourself."
Emma Perkins
"Remember the time Tony peed on himself?"
Tracey Carlin
"That should get looked at. That's not right. People shouldn't be consuming wheelchairs."
Keith
"It's black and pointy and starts with a w."
Karin Hetsler
"They keep on dying, because that's what they do."
Danielle Juengel
"I have to go. I'm heavy."
Steve Hetsler
"It was those blood-sucking butterflies."
Madeline Williamson
"If you're a screamer when you're having sex…"
Amy
"I want the lowercase girl to drive this van!"
Rick
"That girl is very potent!"
Danielle Juengel
"You know you're in a car, right?"
Nate Perkins
"Google is the worst identity theft search engine ever!"
Danielle Jeffery
"Zach, you're causing problems in the bedroom!"
Katie Stall
"My doctor for English…"
Stephanie Childs
"Yes, the doorbell works."
Andrea Morgan
"My car isn't the jumping kind."
Christine Waldersen
"My brother spit out the chamomile lotion. I guess he's smarter than me…"
Jacob Hantla
"You like most vegetables, though, right?"
Amber Petty
"It's been a really emotional day, Vinita."
Amber Souto
"Gilbert High's in Mesa, right? Oh, it's in Chandler?"
Tarrah Martinez
"Bite your tongue, Krista!"
Katie Stall
"It's fun to make things clean!"
Nate Perkins
"This isn't family style! This is distant cousin style!"
Jacob Hantla
"I was so excited to cook a dinner Krista likes!"
Danielle Juengel
"No, I think it's doesn't. I'm just amazed that it's alive. It's like a huge rat."
Amy
"I want to ride in the tractor with the construction worker."
Tim Daninger
"I care about your heart. F-you. I still care about your heart."
Jamie Morgan
"I don't try to be a homewrecker, I swear."
Steve Hetsler
"The dog has a pair of your underwear and a bunch of flowers. I don't know what you two have going on."

April 2004

Bre Harwood
"Krista just quit, and she split, and Keauna's sitting there like, 'what the heck?' with no diaper on."
Danielle Juengel
"What's an asterick?"
Nate Perkins
"Let's pretend like we're going to have sex as many times as possible."
Katie Stall
"I love to make things clean."
movie promoter
"It's like American Pie, Orange County, that kind of movie…like Adam and Eve."
Amy
"It smells like poop! Patriotic poop!"
Matt Dodd
"Holiness and whoreship! What a great combination!"
Kat Watkins
"When Keith and I get here in the mornings and there's vans missing, it makes our days really hard."
Alex Vailas
"The bunny beats the egg because the bunny lays the egg."
Tarrah Martinez
"That's not even romantic; it's just cheesy."
Katie Stall
"Thank goodness for Stephen's valentine. Saved me from a fitful night's sleep."
Danielle Juengel
"I'm no Keaton…"
Matt A.
"I don't think so."
Mackensie Case
"Clearly, you've never had any of my baked goods."
Amy
"What is a half-day?"
Sarah Shipley
"Teach me how to throw men!"
Molly ZagRodny
"She's a very reasonable girl."
Matt Dodd
"Shh! Don't tell her! She doesn't know!"
Sabine Feisst
"You have those studio lessons, and then it gets romantic, but it's actually not a good idea."
Garritt
"Can I fire you?"
Kiki Hantla
"Sorta like them means sorta might want to marry them someday maybe."
Amy
"Brandy will be my mom when she grows up."
Matt
"Keauna, pick on somebody your own size…that means pick on me."
Megan Wesolowski
"I know all their names, but they don't know me. It's kinda sad."
Danielle Juengel
"I'm getting in trouble for not straddling my grandma."
Kimberly Smith
"What people in Mongolia have slanty eyes…ok, all of them."
Keith
"Are you ok Keauna? Am I ok?"
Sabine Feisst
"So if you're bored in your living room…"
Erin Blohm
"Watch out, Nate. Your girlfriend has the wiggles."
Jennie Ensign
"God made me a non-drinker for a reason."

March 2004

Sabine Feisst
"It was actually very common to go to the brothel and have a good time. I wouldn't recommend it…"
Nate Perkins
"Maybe because a banana is shaped like a poo, and your body gets confused."
Matt Dodd
"How were your days? Did you see any pictures of animals doing it?"
Manzi guy
"God loves trash!"
Cassidy Thompson
"I just can't find a place to sit down anywhere!"
Danielle Juengel
"I'm afraid of everything that moves, except Krista."
Harut
"It was good, but did it really need to be the length of a movie?"
Danielle Juengel
"This is day one of the countdown to total destruction."
Alex Vailas
"Haydn is the best ever!! He is more interesting than finding mustard in your sock drawer."
Debbie Parker
"MacKenzie is the only nice one; she bakes Jason cookies…some of those are at least a year old, aren't they?"
Amanda Keim
"Her chest was staring."
Gabe Goltz
"That's funny, because she's right there."
Brake child
"Go give them hugs, so I can play with your toy."
Chad McAllister
"Let's get naked for Jesus!"
Michelle Ford
"Do you know how many almost-naked girls we'll see on the beach tomorrow?"
Alex Vailas
"I'm getting married."
Michelle Ford
"We're music majors. We don't run. We don't exercise."
Patrick
"Who here can say they have a twenty-foot butt slide? That's right, no one."
Katie Stall
"Guppies? Oh, to see them turn into frogs?"
Michelle Ford
"Quick! Someone say something funny."
Danielle Juengel
"Does this make you want to date? I can take you out."
Danielle Juengel
"All your eggs are in one basket."
Tylor
"I'm going to give you health."
Garinee Jording
"Did you meet someone? You did, didn't you? You're holding out on me! You're glowing!"
Keith
"I have a bed, too!"
Bre Harwood
"If we take Jolie to the batting cages, do you think she'll hit me with the bat?"
Katie Stall
"I don't like weird boys, and weird boys are most boys."
Tarrah Martinez
"Do you want a barbie tonight, or a beer?"
Katie Stall
"He's an ex-convict, and he's my cousin, but other than that…"
Tylor
"PG, for violent sequences and peril."
Matt Dodd
"A perfect scorpion had to die for the sins of all scorpions."

February 2004

Scott Maxwell
"All Scripture is God-breathed and is profitable for teaching and for reproof, period! And it's my job as Captain Confronter to do it!"
Angela Simon
"Are you in a sorority…this has sorority written all over it."
Deborah Crusoe
"That man invented sex."
Dave Zagrodny
"If you liked the Super Bowl Halftime, you'll love the Vagina Monologues."
Leo Mullarkey
"Making out is great. My wife and I, we do it all the time."
Amanda Huisman
"Take off your shirt!"
Katie Stall
"Just for the record, I knew."
Matt Dodd
"You skateboarders! Oh wait, I skateboard."
Kevin Ravenscroft
"You're not playing more Bartok, are you?"
Nick Greenwood
"I think I'm going to spend the whole day with my sideburns. We'll go out to dinner, see a movie…"
Tony Butitta
"Deaf people can't hear. That's the problem."
Randy Bartlett
"I think I know how to spell my own name!"
Iona
"How old is he?"
Stephen ZagRodny
"While Kathryn helps make pizza, I'm going to turn music on and do something crazy."
Andy Swanson
"You should just say you're the Crusade brothel."
Katie Stall
"I can't say he's boring, because I don't really know him that well."
Peggy Reid
"You don't have to prove to us that you're cool."
Sabine Feisst
"We are not interested in his hair. We are interested in his music."
Andy Swanson
"We've got a contest involving dead fish, eggs, and panty hose."
Peggy Reid
"Do you have a rubber band?"
Annmarie Jensen
"I have to fart all the time."
Katie Stall
"The last prueba was three pages. That's no prueba!"
Desiree DeBord
"She really likes you. That's so weird. I mean, it's not weird, cause you're cool and all, but…"
Danielle Juengel
"I'd say, 'Krista, you were in REM sleep.' And then I'd kiss your cheek."
Matt Dodd
"That's what the devil does. He's always carrying around hairy babies."
Kiki Hantla
"I didn't order the big one."
Tracey Carlin
"For the lint in my back pocket, I've given up violence."
Stephen ZagRodny
"If one goes in, the others will want to go in, too."
Scott Maxwell
"The lion's mouth is a bad place to be. Write that down: Lion's mouth - bad place to be."

September 2003

Katie Stall
"Meet at the nipple for prayer."
Danielle Juengel
"So there is a mystery man?"
Nate Perkins
"Come on Katie, light my fire."
Danielle Juengel
"I love that everyone is talking about dipping."
Katie Schaefer
"I love cheese! Cheese, cheese!"
Desiree DeBord
"So basically, we can take this test twice."
Alex Vailas
"I hate clothes. They're so restricting!"
Tracey Carlin
"I don't study with him because he's cute. It's just an added bonus."
April Christiansen
"Don't eat your carrots! They'll hurt you."
Katie Stall
"I can't! It's too much pressure. Don't look at me like that!"
Cassidy Thompson
"I've heard that George says weird things."
Katie Schaefer
"Man, I'm coming up with all kinds of words today-penetration and squelched."
Madeline Williamson
"You may be right."
Tracey's Mom
"Krista, shut up!"
Matt
"We swam across Saguaro Lake. We're like best friends!"
Katie Stall
"I don't know if he can hear me, Does he have holes in his head?"
Alex Vailas
"I don't need Jesus. I need cocaine."
Justin Phelps
"I'm just picturing naked Matt pooping."
Jack Perrine
"…porcupines making love…"
Danielle Juengel
"Laura B. You are everything to me."
Megan Wesolowski
"I'm thinking about hair…and nakedness."
Nick Lewis
"I guess it wouldn't work, bro."
Danielle Juengel
"Raunchy Nuggets?"
Karl Schindler
"Lotsa Flats II: This time, it's personal."
Amanda Keim
"I've talked to a porn star's representative and gotten paid for it."
Nate Perkins
"Alex is now a diahrretic pregnant woman."
Danielle Juengel
"What if someone took a bunch of semen into the women's bathroom? I wouldn't want to be their friend."
Katie Stall
"You kill the turtle stereotype."
Mark Rentz
"Brothers and sisters, we are a congregation of happy toads."
Lila Callamone
"Gold star for you!"