Sunday, November 8th - Saturday, November 14th, 2009

"Ai maritat?" - Simona Oprea

"I'll try to have a dream tonight about you." - Amanda Wolfard

"Sometimes I take it out of context and write it in cards when people have babies." - Cassidy Thompson

"Blizzing fireboxes!!" - Leslie

"It makes you think about Michelle Obama's crotch?" - Emily Johnson

"So did Jesus just like teleport them?" - Emily Johnson

"Am I going through puberty again?" - Smedly Yates

Sunday, November 1st - Saturday, November 7th, 2009

"I am only distracted by deflowered donkeys." - Emily Johnson

"Why don't they just mate with the ones who have babies?" - Amanda Wolfard

"Tired hot diarrhea...gross." - Amanda Wolfard

"It's like when the white people came to America, and all the Indians died." - Garrett Shimata

"I've been single since 1985." - Emily Johnson

"What happened to the instrument? ... It got...poked." - Anna

"It just makes you wanna cuss, you know?" - Dre Harris

Sunday, October 25th- Saturday, October 31st, 2009

"You SHOULD be birthday on your dirty." - Emily Johnson

"What if this plane crashes while I'm pooping?" - Liz Petrisans

"Remember when we were single and lived in a house with all girls and sat in a bed and gave rice to children?" - Amanda Wolfard

"Krista see, Krista do." - Leslie

"I mean I don't think I'm a rose bush." - Emily Johnson

"I think it'd be fun if you had to pat the goat on the head to win." - Garrett Shimata

"Nothing says love like a rocket." - Katie Stall

Sunday, October 18th - Saturday, October 24th

"Are we acting Asian?" - Bri Fong

"Don't laugh. We're old." - guy at CVS clinic

"You're going to put her butt essence on your face." - Emily Johnson

"Emily likes to make things weird." - Amanda Wolfard

"I got punched in the face by a three-year-old yesterday, and I thought of you." - Stacy Stravitz

"Katie Stall, pagan moon worshipper." - Garrett Shimata

"I've decided I like breathing. Breathing helps." - Anna Van Devender

Sunday, October 11th - Saturday, October 17th, 2009

"I could be Satan...or something...I mean, I don't wanna be..." - Amanda Wolfard

"I feel like I saw a lot of cleavage right now." - Amanda Wolfard

"I don't know if she'll even poop for him." - Karin Hetsler

"I'll always be your friend and I'll always be Asian...at least I think I'll always be Asian. Who knows nowadays?" - Emily Shen

"Prince Charming, little darlings, we'll figure it all out...you make infertility fun!" - Elisabeth McMenamy

"So no, it shouldn't be awkward, unless you have something against Bible doctrine." - Garrett Shimata

"I feel like we're talking about a pet, but we're not. We're talking about an Asian." - Emily Johnson

Sunday, October 4th - Saturday, October 10th, 2009

"Never anywhere in my schooling did I learn that you could recycle dreams." - Emily Johnson

"Almost pumpkin!" - Kassandra

"Goodbye, Krista. Don't run in the bathroom!" - Timothy

"I'm a little bit funny today." - Razvan Dobre

"Arizona is all about being Mormon." - Kendra Evans

"Uh, I don't think we made the mules. I think the mules made themselves." - Cassidy Thompson

"Why is the Grand Canyon so big?" - Derek Robinson

Sunday, September 27th - Saturday, October 3rd

"Sure, my holiness is already shot, why not add my contentment?" - Emily Johnson

"Monday, no! Tuesday, no! Wednesday, no! Thursday, no! Friday!! Friday puppets!" - Meghan

"If an ant came up to me and started saying that a beetle was better than me, I'd be like, 'What? Squish!'" - Matt Dodd

"Emily, if you ask me one more time, I will never rap again!" - Amanda Wolfard

"I'm a professional boxer." - Corey at Oreganos

"To conserve space, I've started referring to Jesus Christ as J.C." - Emily Johnson

"When I hear the word naked, I think of naked people." - Amanda Wolfard

Sunday, September 20th - Saturday, September 26th

"It wasn't as bad when Josh was bigger." - Ethan Rode

"Everything is with a pleasant odor. Why does it have to smell good?" - Karin Hetsler

"I'm not pregnant, am I?" - Cameron Dodd

"I'm so short I almost died." - Emily Johnson

"I was just thinking about people who shave their arms." - Emily Johnson

"You sound like a professional." - Grace

"It's like a creeper that's coming on to you." - Kim Delnoce

Sunday, September 13th - Saturday, September 19th, 2009

"Her obsessiveness comes out weird, kinda makes you think that she doesn't think your butt looks good." - Amanda Wolfard

"To cook, you have to know math." - Amanda Wolfard

"Hawaiian rainbows are, like, way better than North Dakota rainbows." - Emily Johnson

"Sing Hello Song at 3:53!" - Nick

"Do you want to stand outside the door and tell me about your day while I poop?" - Emily Johnson

"I thought he was a machine, but then he was a person." - Pamela Robinson

"If a crocodile ate my neighbor, I would sue." - Katy Brotherton

Sunday, September 6th - Saturday, September 12th, 2009

"They don't think I have friends for real." - Katie Stall

"They speak Spanish." - Elisabeth McMenamy

"A circumcision party is no party at all." - Matt Dodd

"All the gay men I hang out with aren't Asian." - Kendra Evans

"Myholiness has been shot because of Krista's quote blog." - Emily Johnson

"I want to spit on Krista." - Anna

"Your bowels? Like, you go poop and they touch it?" - Amanda Wolfard

Sunday, August 30th - Saturday, September 5th, 2009

"We're gonna get sold into prostitution. This sucks." - Katy Brotherton

"What are those that you're wearing? They look like some sort of male undergarment." - Alexis Myers

"I have a butt problem. It hurts." - Cassidy Thompson

"I'm my dad's favorite?" - Danielle Juengel

"I find it to be similar to trying to call me a African-American bald man." - Christine Waldersen

"You can take your drugs with your instant breakfast float!" - Karin Hetsler

"Um, Krista, one day you will fall in love and get married and have a son and put his footprints on your back." - Emily Johnson

Sunday, August 23rd - Saturday, August 29th, 2009

"Some of those people are going to have kids, and she's going to die. That's the weird part." - Gabe Ingebrigtsen

"I've gotta poop and then tell Lily I'm home." - Emily Johnson

"Not this again! Your butt is driving me crazy!" - Joe

"Tell her, 'Come baaaaack!'" - Leslie

"Scare the junk out of her." - Zach Makawi

"There's college boys dancing in the hall behind you real awkwardly with leggings on." - Katie Stall

"I'm a goldfish." - Christine Waldersen

Sunday, August 16h - Saturday, August 22nd, 2009

"My dad is going to Heaven, that's all I know." - Jayce Maxwell

"We used to poke each other a lot, but that wasn't part of our fantasies." - Emily Johnson

"She's like so pretty she makes me wanna be Asian again." - Emily Johnson

"Emily, do you think this is God's way of telling you that your farm should...should die?" - Amanda Wolfard

"I'm a vindictive dream-whore." - Emily Johnson

"I have no idea what it feels like to be balding." - Hilarie McCoy

"Altitude makes all sorts of weird things happen to all sorts of weird...people." - Beth Parks

Sunday, August 9th - Saturday, August 15th, 2009

"I think that's a dental problem - no teeth." - Mikaela Bruce

"Something about you made kids wanna strip." - Emily Johnson

"It's just great when God tells us what to do!" - Cassidy Thompson

"You may be sleeping with her, but does she pick your nose?" - Emily Johnson

"I've been felt a lot over the last couple weeks." - Emily Johnson

"I'm pretty sure God's like intoxicating, but not in a secret place." - Emily Johnson

"There's just chromosomes flying all over the place!" - Tracey Carlin

Sunday, August 2nd - Saturday, August 8th, 2009

"And I met him, and I ate his pickle." - Emily Johnson

"I'm glad it's solved and we don't have to go to unsolved mysteries or something." - Danielle Juengel

"Speaking of first periods, why is there a picture of underwear that's pink with a splotch?" - Pamela Robinson

"This is my friend Krista. We're not lesbians, and we like uniwhales." - Danielle Juengel

"Don't go anywhere. Before long, we'll have them take off their clothes." - Amanda Wolfard

"Are you being attacked by a dog right now?" - Danielle Juengel

"Only God can tell if your husband will be green or orange." - Emily Johnson

Sunday, July 26th - Saturday, August 1st, 2009

"We can say we're confessing sin..." - Elisabeth McMenamy

"When you said corny, I was thinking, 'Roses are red, violets are blue..." - Danielle Juengel

"The little red line is Jesus." - Scott Demarest

"I'll be a glamour girl." - Leslie

"He's staying the night..." - Amanda Wolfard

"God is sovereign over your bladder." - Emily Johnson

"And the first stone is the stone of courage..." - Scott Maxwell

Sunday, July 19th - Saturday, July 25th, 2009

"I can't move to Romania. I'm going to be a Romanian slut." - Emily Johnson

"I like it - your sloshy music." - Emily Johnson

"That was like a, 'No, I really don't want you to, but yeah, cause I'm a Christian.'" - Kamille Abreu

"You're a jerk! I know..." - Kendra Evans

"Emily has to cancel her plans...with Emily?" - Kamille Abreu

"Does his name plus your name equal a prime number?" - Danielle Juengel

"You don't normally walk like a pirate?" - Garrett Shimata

Sunday, July 12th - Saturday, July 18th, 2009

"I want to unzip here and take out the cyst." - Emily Johnson

"Yesterday I saw a boy I was in love with 5 years ago and we recognized each other from afar." - Katie Stall

"No I didn't, but that will change the way I think of blueberries while I am eating them." - Danielle Juengel

"I didn't meet him. I just saw him and admired God's creation." - Emily Johnson

"Brown tiger, brown tiger!" - Amanda Wolfard

"I just can't borrow other people's nice things." - Katie Stall

"God is sovereign and men can nurse." - Elisabeth McMenamy

Sunday, July 5th - Saturday, July 11th, 2009

"Are you my husband? It's like, 'Are you my mother,' but, 'Are you my husband?'" - Emily Johnson

"Daddy Warbucks had killed all my friends." - Emily Johnson

"I spewed red gatorade in there." - Joe

"I'll tell my husband, 'It's ok if you don't like me. Krista does.'" - Emily Johnson

"I'm not a fan of worship...on Facebook. I'm not a Facebook fan of worship."- Emily Johnson

"Nothing says colonoscopy like a twisty straw." - Mikaela Bruce

"Krista, listen to me!!" - Connor Brake

Sunday, June 28th - Saturday, July 4th, 2009

"I want a red-haired kid with a hispanic name." - Emily Johnson

"Apparently my superego is all over the place." - Emily Johnson

"I had 3 kids, the same 3 kids I have now." - Scott Demarest

"When she's naked but behind a curtain." - Emily Johnson

"I feel weird aobut that - God's word on my butt." - Emily Johnson

"I'm so excited that I was your bridesmaid for the quote-of-the-day party." - Danielle Juengel

"If you mess with them, you'll end up in some of their food containers." - Dre Harris

Sunday, June 21st - Saturday, June 27th, 2009

"Romania is single." - Emily Johnson

"I love the ocean - not in my mouth." - Emily Johnson

"And because you're her supervisor, you can command her to go." - Kim Delnoce

"I like broccoli and he likes to say hi."- Kendra Evans

"I could be the composer - the composer of your love song." - Danielle Juengel

"Like, right after she had taken my virginity..." - Danielle Juengel

"Maybe my superego is in love with him." - Emily Johnson

Sunday, June 14th - Saturday, June 20th, 2009

"He was eaten by worms and he died. I mean, what a bummer end to Herod day."- John MacArthur

"We're giving away a pitbull today, and since he has a pulse you can save a seat with him." - Jonathan Rourke

"I made it up just for Tuesday." - Ethan Rode

"Either my singleness is like offensive or I have a raw magnetism." - Danielle Juengel

"I probably shouldn't rub my cyst, but I have to make sure it's still there." - Emily Johnson

"I don't want Kamille to, you know, discharge herself from anything." - Emily Johnson

"Exactly the kind of candy one would throw at the homeless." - Amber Yuen

Sunday, June 7th - Saturday, June 13th, 2009

"You have a leaf on your head." - Isaiah Martin

"Keep going - we need more zinc!" - Kendra Evans

"We always see pianos, but we don't always break pianos." -Hannah McCoy

"Stupid sex. As in female. Ha. Stupid gender." - Tracey Carlin

"That is not a place for a cold wet nose." - Kendra Evans

"Apparently the dog thought you were a floozy." - Matt Magruder

"I call this my evidences of grace starters kit that I recommend to you all." - CJ Mahaney

Sunday, May 31st - Saturday, June 6th, 2009

"You know I was thinking, I don't really mind the whole penis quote." - Emily Johnson

"Her name is Queen of Guadalupe?" - Renata Alford

"Krista, you look like a heart...it means you're the prettiest girl in the whole wide world music world." - Joe

"I could see a mermaid dancing in the water with a music therapist and a mommy." - Chantell

"I don't wanna be a pretend musical slut!" - Emily Johnson

"What if I said, 'I'm weird? You're the one who's sleeping with a toaster'?" - Emily Johnson

"You always knew she might be a little spicy on the inside, because you could see her purple bra through her white shirt." - Desiree Luong

December 1999

"She's a walking accident." - Allison Johnson

"Don't break the mirror." - Bruce Johnson

"So you didn't move or die!" - Amanda Keim

"Kinda like April." - Christine Waldersen

"They're bigger than his neck." - Megan Jeffery

"He needs it." - Chris Beatty

"Ms. Gunby's an idiot." - Ryan Keller

"I want to kill them." - Christine Waldersen

"Do it again!" - Stephanie Childs

"Is it my pulse, or just any pulse?" - Katie Stall

"That's bad, too. Don't be Catholic." - Krista Hetsler

"Who wants to play badminton?" - Joel Lindstrom

"You're going to become female instantly." - Becky Kerr

"Krista's hot." - Emily Oatis

"I'd cry, too, if I was his mom." - Amanda Keim

"Because you asked mom a sex question." - Amanda Keim

"Is she always pregnant?" - Stephanie Childs

"I don't have a monkey. I'm a girl." - Katie Stall

"Another good picture of Darci." - Christine Waldersen

"He's a genius!" - Krista Hetsler

"Did you t.p. anyone the other night?" - Becky Kerr

"Backwards talking am I now." - SMG and Bs

"I want cake." - Zach Earhart

"We have a beautiful family." -Aly Ingebrigtsen

"I thought so, too." - Margie Ingebrigtsen

"Or at least our friend April would." - Stephanie Childs

"Your eyes are beautiful." - Ashley Emmons

"What?" - Gary Hetsler

"It looked yicky." - Gary Hetsler

"Don't growl at Aunt Marietta." - Leanna

"You wanna piece of me?" - Tyler Lindstrom

November 1999

"Speak for yourself." - Scott Palmisano

"You can't go skiing without snow." - Krista Hetsler

"Pee on earth." - Bart Evans

"Is your mom Russian?" - Liz Ullman

"Dave has a bigger butt than I thought." - Lindsey Gamard

"Quote of the Day!" - Lindsey Gamard

"I'm pretty good at this." - Nicole Vasquez

"That was Paul." - Todd Lindquist

"I could be gay." - Wendy Glenn

"Those are guys?" - Stephanie Childs

"I'm punchy." - Krista Hetsler, Sarah Shipley

"It's just...wrong." - Kevin Northrup

"I hate when that happens." - April Christiansen

"Respect level..."- Todd Lindquist

"I cry, Profesora." - Matt Shoemaker

"The End." - Lindsey Gamard

"Matt S., you need to turn in Illegal Immigrants." - Sra. Jauregui

"I was sniffing." - Sean Shaw

"That's no good." - Lindsey Gamard

"That's so cute." - Krista Hetsler

"I heard you." - Emily Johnson

"I thought you were just hungry." - Dave Stott

"Ooh, you're a lesbian." - Stephanie Childs

"Turkeys don't fly, do they?" - Krista Hetsler

"You should be thankful for those." - Shantal Ingebrigtsen

"I'd dig me a hole." - Michelle Hochrein

"She's putting her pants on." - Tyler Lindstrom

"Let's be incestual lesbians." - Zach Earhart

"Okay, do-te."- Bart Evans

"Cause they're boys." - Christiana Lee

October 1999

"Look how much rum she has." - Jessie Smith

"It must be a Catholic thing." - Jerry Seinfeld

"We didn't need that." - Jamie Morgan

"A little too well." - Elisa Phelps

"Mountain." - Nick Petris

"Don't worship." - Christine Waldersen

"Cross your legs." - Mark Stoker

"We can have a pow-wow!" - Stephanie Childs

"Don't think I don't flush." - Katie Dempsey

"Stop sign!" - Zach Earhart

"Don't tell anyone." - Sra. Jauregui

"We're the perfect combination. I've got the big voice and you're always right." - Emily Williams

"It's easier said than done." - Christine Waldersen

"So many fans." - Christine Waldersen

"Classification." - Krista Hetsler

"Clap three times." - Amanda Keim

"I threw candy at the homeless." - Krista Hetsler

"Like Danielle Jeffery and Matt Harrison." - Krista Hetsler

"Bye-bye backpack." - Sarah Shipley

"Your mom converted? Oh, wow." - Alyssa Shangraw

"I write about Trey all the time." - Wendy Glenn

"Yo buggy!"- Christine Waldersen

"She's a triple-stitch girl." - Karin Hetsler

"Can I touch them?" - Starbucks customer

"I am really hot." - Jamie Morgan

"There's Jesus. God, he's tall!" - Stephanie Childs

"That was good, huh?" - MVD clerk

"I didn't get it either." - Christine Waldersen

"You're not missing anything." - Bart Evans

"Hold the tongue." - Megan Jeffery

"I'm a little broken up." - Todd Lindquist

July 2001

"Here, Christine. You can take the stick in the shower with you." - Katherine Jennings

"I always wanted to sleep with my boyfriend's dad." - Katherine Jennings

"You made out in Mr. Evans' car?" - Megan Warner

"Is this Brent's girlfriend?" - Karin Hetsler

"I am going to make a U-turn!"- Suzanne Shedden

"Megan and I make everything sexual." - Alyssa Shangraw

"It's like a screwed-up butt crack." - Blake Woods

"He's our friend." - Suzi Shedden

"If you're having sex, then you're probably going commando." - Brent Bachelder

"You wouldn't have to tell a girl you liked her - she would just know!" - Brent Bachelder

"My shoe is pink!" - Joel Lindstrom

"How is it, Suzi? Is Brent a good kisser?" - Alyssa Shangraw

"I'm having a brain freeze." - Karin Hetsler

"Porcupines urinate on each other before having sex...to soften the quills." - Steve Hetsler

"Thanks for the concert." - Steve Hetsler

"He went to change. He'll come back a new man." - Karin Hetsler

"Happy's a one-family dog. I mean, a one-dog-family...dog." - Karin Hetsler

"This is your dad's favorite song." - Karin Hetsler

"I was making out with this girl, and her dog ate my shoe." - Brent Bachelder

"Alyssa, stop touching Brent's titty." - Brenda Johnson

"Nobody should date until they're 22." - Alyssa Shangraw

"Mine was my body." - Matt Dregley

"He's oblivious to everything and his ass." - Suzi Shedden

"Come in the bed with us, Alyssa." - Suzi Shedden

"Who's the penis in between us?" - Sean Johnson

"You tooted on my plants?" - April Christiansen

"That's so cute!" - girl at Borders

"Before, it was just rumors." - Jonathan

Sunday, May 24th - Saturday, May 30th, 2009

"I want to be God." - James Kershaw

"They don't have lamps at their bed. They have flashlights." - Kendra Evans

"Your blood matches my blood!" - Joe

"I don't think showering keeps my farts in." - Emily Johnson

"Oh my gosh I don't wanna share my room with Goofy - he wears a mask!" - Emily Johnson

"Is this your WORK?" - Grace

"You're not supposed to pursue the turtles." - Michael Yuen

Sunday, May 17th - Saturday, May 23rd, 2009

"Jim...and some of you have seen his feet...has beautiful feet." -Smedly Yates

"I hope there's a road on it, if it's a road map." - Stacy Stravitz

"Who thanks their dead stuffed dog for kissing tips?" - Emily Johnson

"What are kids doing these days in graveyards?" - Jeremy Foster

"I'm at the dentist. THAT'S new." - Emily Johnson

"I don't want her to die. She's so cute, isn't she?" - Laurel Larson

"They like tackled me, and I protected my abdomen." - Laura Bryant

Sunday, May 10th - Saturday, May 16th, 2009

"I'm consistently funny and consistently mad at Kendra." - Christine Waldersen

"I feel like all she learned from me is that I like to go shopping." - Emily Johnson

"Don't hit Krista. Never hit her." - Timothy

"I miss having a non-depressive, suicidal pet." - Kendra Evans

"Cars around here don't not try to kill you." - Anne Bennett

"I was a chunker." - Katie Stall

"I married a king. He picked me from his harem. I was flattered." - Katy Brotherton

June 2001

"Not my butt...it's unsinkable...like the Titanic." - Brent Bachelder

"Don't hit on my girlfriend. You're a dog! And, you're a girl!" - Brent Bachelder

"I'm only a half-sister!" - Suzi Shedden

"You don't have a wiener in your pants, Tyler?" - Brent Bachelder

"You're better than a wiener." - Brent Bachelder

"Are you happy Brent's gone?" - Joel Lindstrom

"I'll keep in touch." - Karin Hetsler

"Krista can be stationary, and Jen can move." - Alyssa Shangraw

"Could have been worse. You could have substituted 'girl' for 'worl.'" - Amanda Keim

"It's not Monte..." - Brent Bachelder

"Brent, are those your boxers on the fan?" - Brent Bachelder

"Leave the pet names at home." - Christine Waldersen

"I always wanted to be a dolphin girl." - Christine Waldersen

"If you make a little love and you're doin a little dance, that's kinda weird, but if you do a little dance and make a little noise..." - Brent Bachelder

"Especially if he's elongated." - Brent Bachelder

"Lick your fingers." - Bart Evans

"I could go down with one of you guys." - Tyler Lindstrom

"I think I waved at him, too." - Christine Waldersen

"Your teacher's the only cool guy." - Brent Bachelder

"Have you used a toilet? No." - British lady

"We have a Chef-in-a-Box. How in the world could we fit him in the box? It's mind-boggling." - Trudy

"I didn't sign that book." - Jamie Dibbens

"If by hot sex you mean hot chocolate, then yes." - Arizona Ambassador

"Krista, are we on a boat that just went by the Eiffel tower?" - Christine Waldersen

"Your boob size doesn't change all the time." - Blake Smith

"He's just making up stories to hide his homosexuality." - Christine Waldersen

"Onward, hos!"- Katherine Jennings

"I was going to say, 'screw all those guys,' but don't." - Christine Waldersen

"Guttentag, Lichtensteinian ladybug!" - Katherine Jennings

"I had three virgins and five cokes in one day." - Blake Smith

May 2001

"Jump out of the car!" - Megan Jeffery

"You like my seductive pose?" - Zach Earhart

"I haven't grabbed many people's chests." - Kevin Northrup

"If only we could get rid of Anderson..." - Mr. Cash

"God is watching you."- Steve Hetsler

"Let's take this thing that comes out of a chicken's butt, crack it, fry it, and eat it." - Tyler Lindstrom

"Did I see you kissing a boy on the dance floor?" - Bart Evans

"She wouldn't get up, she'd fluff up." - Brent Bachelder

"They have guy hooters?"- Christine Waldersen

"Just as long as you don't sleep with him, good job!" - Tim Klingler

"Uh, we're not coming back..." - Julia Scinto

"It's not even a brake, it's just an emergency." - Brent Bachelder

"Too lazy to put out?" - Tara Donovan

"Sell your body if it's any good." - Ed Eberle

"We're altering bullshit." - Amanda Keim

"Come, her is the funeral." - Lucia Idarraga

"She's in, I like her outfit." - Julia Tilley

"Tyler put shit on the ceiling." - Jen Bachelder

"He's the closest thing with a dick." - Alyssa Shangraw

"I don't like lesbian leg-touching and I don't like hair." - Christine Waldersen

"What the twat, Kevin?" - Alyssa Shangraw

"Girls are evil." - note in English

"I can't add, and I only have ten fingers and eight toes." - April Christiansen

"She was too busy worrying about the chalk." - Christine Waldersen

"How did you jump on him and suck him?" - Alyssa Shangraw

"Officially..." - Joel Lindstrom

"woo woo woo woo" - Jeremiah Lipsey

"Soccer players have to kick everything." - Christine Waldersen

"I want Blake...wait a minute...I want Blake to come...wait a minute..." - Alyssa Shangraw

August 2000

"It's a vicious cycle." - Karin Hetsler

"It looks like Happy's neck!" - Karin Hetsler

"I'm breaking up with Trey, the man-whore!" - Lindsey Gamard

"Can I rub myself?" - Megan Jeffery

"I don't want to put my mouth on your noodle. Is that ok?" - Christine Waldersen

"Is she a whore, too, then?" - Lindsey Gamard

"Good for you, drunk!" - Tyler Lindstrom

"It was a nice bee." - Karin Hetsler

"They're both in band, but they're cool." - Amanda Keim

"You babysat Trey?" - Lindsey Gamard

"Did she die?" - Grant Fishburn

"...advances toward his nuts..." - Joel Lindstrom

"Go God! Don't smoke weed!" - Brent Bachelder

"Why is there a jock in the choir room?" - Lindsey Gamard

"John Berzins has a little...thing?" - Megan Jeffery

"But the bookstore lady has a boat to pay for." - Ed Eberle

"But you have feeders." - Caleb Foreman

"I don't have one." - Olga Perez

"Oh God, the spandex!" - Tara

"...and Krista got hit by a car..." - Jessie Smith

"I don't even know this guy!" - Nicole Butler

"I like to wear women's underwear." - Jason Tourville

"I can't even ride myself!" - Christine Waldersen

"He said the same thing about me last year." - Justin Danielson

"We're on a double date." - Amanda Keim

"Why is she bald?" - Alyssa Shangraw

"I am married...to a woman." - Gavin Rittenhouse

"Cause she's a bitch!" - Amanda Keim

"I'm gonna get myself a woman." - Chris McAdams

"I'll put in a good word for you with Fernando." - Brian Waldersen

"It would work a lot better if you shot her." - April Christiansen

July 2000

"Shake it, Tweety!" - Tara

"That beer looks really good." - Megan Jeffery

"I'd hit on him if her was a him." - Megan Jeffery

"I'm going to thrust my torpedo at her." - Phil McKee

"Do you have any men's clothing?" - Amanda Keim

"Can you see my hand like plummeting?" - April Christiansen

"My butt does not make that noise on its own." - Darci Earhart

"Now she's a dying donkey." - Stephanie Childs

"I dish it out in spoonfuls." - Stephanie Childs

"I can control my penis." - Brent Bachelder

"She's the three stooges in one." - Stephanie Childs

"Maybe we're both going through menopause." - Stephanie Childs

"Flushable feminine wipes - Ding, ding!" - Christine Waldersen

"Let's not push red buttons." - Tyler Lindstrom

"Sean fucking ass Johnson...is his mom in here?" - Jamie Morgan

"I would eat you whether you wanted me to or not." - Brent Bachelder

"Is that you?" - Stephanie Childs

"Is she permanently attached to this monkey?" - Heather Ashby

"Can you, like, talk to astronauts on this thing?" - Paul Cox

"Stifle, honey, stifle, stifle!" - Penny Kopp

"A watched bush never barks." - Karin Hetsler

"I have drunk neighbors, too. They live upstairs from me." - Megan Ingebrigtsen

"We picked a good time to leave." - Karin Hetsler

"Hi, little doggie. My horse wants to play with you." - man on horse

"The elk ate it." - Anna Hetsler

"Yup." - Anna Hetsler

"You'll be tested on it." - Kirsten Nisswandt

"How ridiculous can you get?" - Al Nisswandt

"I'm David, that's Mark." - Jeanne Ingebrigtsen

"Tell them you're doing basket-weaving." - Al Nisswandt

"I know where everything is." - Steve Ingebrigtsen

June 2000

"Did a porsche throw up on you?" - Ross Geller

"Is Angel drunk?" - Mike Ruggierro

"Those things are fucking on her leg." - Sarah Shipley

"I was nakey!" -Stephanie Childs

"*pats you on the back**now apologizes*" -Stephanie Childs

"I had a headache, but I was happy." - Blake Smith

"Can you guess what my favorite fungus is?" - Christine Waldersen

"I had sex...with a girl!" - April Christiansen

"When is your skin coming back?" - Caleb Foreman

"Thanks, skin. You've made me proud." - Stephanie Childs

"Speak, woof! Speak, woof!" - Len Ingebrigtsen

"Silly, Krista, popcorn is for mooses." - Jared Klundt

"If you need me, I'll be in the sprinkler." - Matthew Ingebrigtsen

"Put on your Sunday best, kids, we're going for a hike!" - Stephanie Childs

"We tried to go to Wickenburg, but we couldn't find it." - April Christiansen

"I was looking deep into her eyes." - Megan Jeffery

"Shouldn't we let her out before we set the house on fire?" - Christine Waldersen

"Damn you people with daddies!" - April Christiansen

"Get your tongue away from her mouth!" - Tamra Ingebrigtsen

"I'll keep you updated." - Margie Ingebrigtsen

"I'm surprised you have any shirt left." - Karin Hetsler

"Little ones to Him belong, He is weak, but I am strong." - Margie Ingebrigtsen

"Why is there a penny in my orange juice?" - Karin Hetsler

"I'd want to be a slaughtered cow." - Brent Bachelder

"In God's name we play." - Tom Wick

"She's a Jewish Megan!" - Sarah Shipley

"Make sure to wear your tall shoes before you pick a fight." - Sarah Shipley

"I have a new freckle!" - Ashley Emmons

"It smells like a green packer!" - Grant Fishburn

"Are your pants wet yet?" - Sarah Shipley

Sunday, May 3rd - Saturday, May 9th, 2009

"I can't think of anything much worse than being Pamela Weins-dash-Robinson." - Pamela Robinson

"The tumor inside me gave me strength." - Kendra Evans

"I have this really sick like love for when it's parasites." - Kendra Evans

"The real question is, 'Why hasn't Bibleopoly been out since we moved in?" - Kendra Evans

"I want to have a girl so we can lay lots of babies." - James Kershaw

"I don't have like a spiritual boyfriend or girlfriend." - Ethan Rode

"Isaiah, just be 26, ok?" - Emily Johnson

Sunday, April 26th - Saturday, May 2nd, 2009

"I was worried about saying stuff...but since there's only four of us..." - guy at Romanian church

"Then we serve it with rice, and then we're happy." -Kendra Evans

"I hope I never see him ever again until he's ready to marry me." - Cassidy Thompson

"I messed with my music teacher Krista. I've been very briska!" - Casey

"Well I can't hang out tomorrow either. So there." - Emily Shen

"Hell yes I have a certain kind of friction." - Andrew Stravitz

"It makes me like, really glad I'm not a fish." - Amanda Wolfard

Sunday, April 19th - Saturday, April 25th, 2009

"And last night, then, I started to wonder, where is Mama Spider?"- Amanda Wolfard

"It's pretty common for me when I get chased to start like flying." - Kendra Evans

"The letter said, 'Krista, do I love you? Yes, I do." - Joe

"Yeah, I got popped in the eye, everything's cool, let's go grab a drink." - Rahn Tabron

"I don't know her first name. Or her last name. I just know she was Bulgarian." - Katie Stall

"They fall in love. It's dangerous because he wants to eat her, but it's still the same old story." - Stacy Stravitz

"You can do a lot at a library - books, ..." - Danielle Juengel

Sunday, April 12th - Saturday, April 18th

"His voice sounds like he smokes and plays the trumpet." - Amanda Wolfard

"85% of Christaian males play the guitar." - Tracey Carlin

"He's a silly goose and a an gooberball silly goose, ha ha you drive me crazy funny bunny oh." - Leslie

"I guess freedom includes nakedness - is that true?" - Kendra Evans

"Ok then, I"m just going to be a rebel and lie in bed naked." - Pamela Robinson

"You have no right to send me any kind of smiley." - Suzanne Shedden

"I want a quinceanera." - Alexis

Sunday, April 5th - Saturday, April 11th

"I would share a toothbrush with a person in North Korea." - Kendra Evans

"Kind of like I'm a madman." - Razvan Dobre

"Oh I am not a hand. I feel so sorry for myself. I am a foot." - Cameron Dodd

"This is what I do when it's cold in Australia." - Leslie

"I'm sorry your mom wishes I would be her daughter-in-law." - Katie Stall

"I am inviting you for dinner." - Simona Oprea

"I'm not sure how my future husband would feel about him making my insides tingle either." - Kendra Evans

Sunday, March 29th - Saturday, April 4th, 2009

"You've tried to meaningfully touch me a few times." - Tate Rivera

"These are the band kids! These are the good kids!" - Valerie Buss

"The mentally abnormal...paintings of them. I've been looking for something to put on my wall." - Kim Delnoce

"Hitting a volleyball through the wall...due to my aggression." - Leslie

"She leaves stuff...books, pencils..." - Solo owner

"People just don't like it when I talk about how I take off my underwear." - Katy Brotherton

"I'll be reading the dictionary'' - Zach Makawi

Sunday, March 22nd - Saturday, March 28th, 2009

"My true love will not have shifty eyes." - Katie Stall

"I'm going to keep spelling it chord. I"m feeling musical." - Tracey Carlin

"Why are you shoes white because they are so cute." - Joe

"They don't drink alcohol, so they have to have some sort of entertainment, in the form of jello casseroles." - Tate Rivera

"Because I'm obviously going to get pregnant if I sleep on his couch." - Amanda Keim

"You still owe me a meaningful touch." - Cameron Cook

"You're letting cold air in, and she doesn't even have a snuggie on!" - Cameron Cook

Sunday, March 15th - Saturday, March 21st, 2009

"He killed it. Not Jesus, that's not until next week." - Kendra Evans





"They kissed. I no like. That nasty." - Kassandra





"I mean, Scott Maxwell. I love that guy, in a pastoral sort of way." - Cameron Dodd





"I blocked off 10 AM on April 17th, 2010 in my Outlook schedule to have a kid." - Tim VanDevender





"Um, well, I used it when I went to Africa, and I got sick on it in front of the chief." - Katie Stall





"Have you ever heard someone speak Spanish with a southern accent?" - Aunt Nell



"They're like super nice and not even awkward. Why am I so awkward?" - Katie Stall

Sunday, March 8th - Saturday, March 14th, 2009

"When I'm naked in the shower, I don't want to feel tickled." - Tracey Carlin

"I'm not funny on command. It's too hard." - Amanda Wolfard

"Wake me up when you're done being alone." - Tracey Carlin

"If you crashed in a plane, you would totally die first, and...they...would...eat...you." - Tracey Carlin

"Stop it, sin! I mean, Danielle." - Danielle Juengel

"Don't you bring God into this! I'm supposed to be mad at you." - Kendra Evans

"I called her Winky and was uncomfortable with her advances." - Matt Magruder

Sunday, March 1st - Saturday, March 7th, 2009

"I didn't even know you knew about my sticks." - Amanda Wolfard

"He hits me on the thigh or something...I actually like it." - Pamela Wiens

"I wonder how Joel's doing with his Asian wife." - Kendra Evans

"More than one aid..." - Keita Onuma

"I already know it's cheesy. It's ok." - Amanda Wolfard

"He didn't say that because He's a black woman." - Kendra Evans

"She's standing next to a large lady, but she's just a little lady." - Tracey Carlin

Sunday, February 22nd - Saturday, February 28th, 2009

"I'm a suburbian white girl, and he's the antithesis of a suburbian white girl." - Kendra Evans

"Monkeys eat people." - Kassandra

"Don't cry in the goodbye song. It's not nice." - Timothy

"Do you always have a tendency to make a mess of things?" - Chantell

"I swear, I think at least once a day, 'Why am I so awkward?'" - Lindsay Plocher

"Your insides are the same? I think I would remember that." - Katie Stall

"With all this talk about me being your pet..." - Kendra Evans

Sunday, February 15th - Saturday, February 21st, 2009

"When he first shook my hand, I thought he had autism." - Dre Harris

"Sometimes, when a man and woman love each other very much, they hug for 12 seconds." - Elisabeth McMenamy

"I wore beautiful jewelry...and pink and purple accessories." - Leslie

"Navajo. I'm sure they're all Mexican...or Navajo." - Kendra Evans

"John MacArthur made me cry." - Melissa James

"You won't always cough up a blue sapphire." - Tungland trainer

"What if you got PineSol in your hooha? - Lena Whitley

Sunday, February 8th - Saturday, February 14th, 2009

"This is getting awkward, cause I keep talking about virgins." - Emily Johnson

"Cause you got good looks and Piper books, big brown eyes and elder qualified..." - Kendra Evans

"I'm always here to remind you what your name is." - Emily Shen

"They're having a battle of the wits. What's a battle of the wits?" - Leslie

"Hello to myself..." - Grace

"I remember stalker and you, but I don't know..." - Tamra Ingebrigtsen

Sunday, February 1st - Saturday, February 7th, 2009

"TJ got so excited he hugged Tyler. He normally doesn't hug anyone." - Abby Klingenberg

"I think I remember you...I'm a lot tougher than I was then." - Trenton

"Sorry, Stacy. Your kind was threatened." - Kim Delnoce

"How does it feel to be old?" - Chantell

"You can play feelings better than words can...words can't play feelings at all; they don't have fingers." - Kendra Evans

"You can just say 'Kazoose.'" - Grace

"I was skipping through the tulips...I had a flower in my hair." - Dre Harris

Sunday, January 25th - Saturday, January 31st, 2009

"I hope they steal just my present, because I got them a goat for a family in India." - Christine Waldersen

"Kind of like flirt and convert, but flirt and sanctify." - Kendra Evans

"Then he said I have pretty blue eyes, and I don't have blue eyes." - Kim Delnoce

"I'm the only one who showed you that the koto bells really is something." - Casey

"When I toot, it smells like chocolate chip cookies." - Kendra Evans

"I don't know why, but I always want to hit guys really hard." - Amanda Wolfard

"I take it you're white and I'm black?" - Josh Miles

Sunday, January 18th - Saturday, January 24th, 2009

"Her face was like all one color, and I was like, 'How's she doing that?' - Danielle Juengel

"YEA you and hurraz for me." - Karin Hetsler

"I heart your sexy voice." - Emily Shen

"When I asked if I could bring my dog, they said that wouldn't be necessary because she already eats crap and does what she's told." - Steve Hetsler

"Well, Em, when a cauliflower and a woman love each other very much..." - Kendra Evans

"You guys will be my underwear-guarding team." - Amanda Wolfard

"Pam's been talking about mixed babies since like middle school." - Karissa Schrage

Sunday, January 11th - Saturday, January 17th, 2009

"Didn't know you're a hippie. Is this an ongoing sin in your life?" - Ethan Rode

"I don't know if you know this about her, but she prefers to get warm by natural means." - Kendra Evans

"Money can't buy me love...It's kinda like Chuck E. Cheese." - Leslie

"When you lay on his threshing floor, then we'll talk." - Kendra Evans

"What a sad Superman dream! You guys didn't even make out!" - Kendra Evans

"That's not so strange. I dont' wear a bra when I go to bed." - Pamela Wiens

"I LOVE weddings. That's when true love comes!" - Grace

Sunday, January 4th - Saturday, January 10th, 2009

"I was distracted by her, because she's so pretty, and she's from Brazil, and I want to be her." - Amanda Wolfard

"I bet you didn't know you have a friend who is a rebel." - Danielle Juengel

"That'd be weird if she was a frog. She'd be a larger frog than normal." - Cameron Dodd

"Maybe fake weenies - tofu weenies?" - Danielle Juengel

"Thank you for being discombobulated with me." - Danielle Brooks

"They're kinda a mix between Popeye and penguins." - Katie Stall

"I'm not ready to be a mama yet. I just became a sotie!" - Samantha Sava

Sunday, December 28th, 2008 - Saturday, January 3rd, 2009

"Blah, blah, blah. Ok, not blah, blah, blah - life, I guess." - Christine Waldersen

"Omri dubbed Smed, 'a monster in the scripts; JG said, 'He killed it' and he intended that to be a good thing; and Dre wanted to do a backflip." - Jacob Hantla

"Jinx 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Now you have to hang out with me." - Kim Delnoce

"Is it cold in Tempe?" - girl from Scottsdale, riding Metro

"Fighting right is not just throwing produce." - Pamela Wiens

"Derek, you have hemorrhoids, but they're from God!" - Amanda Wolfard

"Stella slept with an underaged black man. I got a salad spinner." - Elisabeth McMenamy

Sunday, December 21st - Saturday, December 27th

"They're very thought-provoking, and I don't provoke thoughts." - Emily Shen

"She knocked the head off that reindeer again." - Karin Hetsler

"Is that really all I am, is a parking lot whore?" - Kendra Evans

"We used to watch them get slaughtered while we ate breakfast." - Pamela Wiens

"I learned how to make scrambled eggs for Dinah." - Karin Hetsler

"I call that my big fat Greek boob." - Danielle Brooks

"It's ok if you're not really into chest hair. It's one of the things I look for in my actors." - Derek Robinson

Sunday, December 14th - Saturday, December 20th

"I'm not in touch with young people...or people." - Emily Johnson

"And go antiquing? I don't know, it just sounds like something you would do if you drove that far." - Danielle Juengel

"There's butterflies in my face...eww...eww." - Timothy

"I like everything except African." - Leslie

"I can name 3: Brad, the guy from the place, and hug-boy." - Pamela Wiens

"Wasn't it the javelinas who killed Old Yeller?" - Katie Stall

"Sometimes I'm rebellious and I waddle all the way." - Anne Bennett

Sunday, December 7th - Saturday, December 13th, 2008

"It was on the lips. That was the only thing that was different about it." - Pamela Wiens

"He thought my sunglasses were cool. That's how I get all the fellas." - Kendra Evans

"Our car broke down, Matt brought home a donkey..." - Cameron Dodd

"It's like Asian sick-soup." - Pamela Wiens

"Bence will listen to Miley Cyrus..." - Katie Kolossa

"It's a lady... a shapely figure for a snow person." - Katie Stall

"Thanks for going in circles with me." - Alex Evjen